Our Kickstarter is live!!

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New Ways to Get Mad Science

Just a quick note to let you all know that we have two new ways to get notified of stories on the site. First, we made a Tumblr blog for those who like to Tumbl!

http://madscientistjournal.tumblr.com/

We’ll also be trying out a mailing list to provide weekly notification of new stories, with an archive of the other news we’ve had over the week. You can sign up for it here:



And if you hadn’t noticed that we have other places you can follow, here’s where else you can find us:

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Another Glimpse at Our Looming Kickstarter

That Ain't Right: Historical Accounts of the Miskatonic ValleyWe’re four days away from launching the Kickstarter for That Ain’t Right: Historical Accounts of the Miskatonic Valley, so here’s another glimpse at what we have in store for you. (And if you missed our earlier post, it is here.) We’ll be doing an open call for submissions after the Kickstarter ends, when we can see what our budget looks like. But we also have a fat handful of stories already accepted so that we can give people a taste of what’s in store for them. Here’s the lineup we have so far.

“Come Down, Ma Evenin’ Star” by Sanford Allen
“Arkquarium” by Folly Blaine
“Goat” by Nathan Crowder
“Dr. Circe and the Shadow over Swedish Innsmouth” by Erik Scott de Bie
“August and Autumn” by Jenna M. Pitman
“A Matter of Scale” by Emily C. Skaftun
“The Laughing Book” by Cliff Winnig

We’re planning on sharing more glimpses at these fun stories over the course of the Kickstarter. We hope you join us on this crazy ride.

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Hemingway at Work

A letter by an unnamed employee, as provided by T.J. Tranchell
Art by Katie Nyborg


Dear Mr. Myrbo,

You don’t know me, but I know you. I’m an employee. That’s why I won’t sign my name to this letter. That would put my job at risk. You have to know how far you can go. I’m still figuring that out. What I know is that I still need this job. If I signed this, human resources would be on me faster than you earn a dollar.

For now, you will just have to live without knowing who I am. I’m sure I’ll slip up somewhere and give myself away. Or I could lie and plant details to make you think I’m someone else. I could tell you the age of the prostitute you spent the night with on your last business trip to London, but since you don’t even know exactly how old he was, that wouldn’t help.

I know things about you and this company that an employee in my position shouldn’t know. It disgusts me. Don’t get angry yet. You’ll burst a vein before we even get to the good stuff.

And don’t for a second think this is blackmail. Other than my job, you have nothing I want. You can’t properly bribe me since you don’t know who I am.

Enough about me. Let’s talk some more about you. I have a feeling you aren’t convinced of my knowledge. Let’s talk about March 27, 1995. Best day ever, right? How many people died that day? Seven? Early reports rumored deaths in the dozens, but from my research only seven people, including two children, actually died from your actions that day. Thousands more have died because of that Tuesday, but still, only seven.

Do you remember their names? Did you ever know them? Brad Irby is surely familiar. He’s the one who sued you in 1993. Cost you a year of your life. A year well-spent, was it? Concocting revenge plots. Scenarios to get back at him and his wife for nearly ruining your life.

Did you have to infect his daughter, too? Or the Forshams next door? They’d only been married for six months. Did you know that? No, I think not. You are too narrow-minded a monster to consider the collateral damage. You shoot mosquitoes with bazookas.

Hemingway at Work


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2014 collection.


Paul Myrbo, 63, founder of Myrbo Pharmaceuticals, was found dead from influenza complications Monday, Oct. 14, at his home in Malibu. Myrbo is survived by his former wife, Helen Myrbo Prentiss. A daughter, Shirley, has been missing for two after disappearing during a vacation in Brazil. Myrbo received his doctorate in virology from Princeton University. He will be interred during a private ceremony at Westwood Memorial Park in Los Angeles.


T.J. Tranchell is busy balancing life as a graduate student and teaching assistant at Central Washington University with being a husband to a beautiful woman and father to a rambunctious 8-month-old boy. He spends what little free time he has these days writing short stories; reading Stephen King, Joe Hill, and Neil Gaiman; watching horror movies; and teaching his son about professional wrestling and comic books.


Katie Nyborg’s art, plus information regarding hiring her, can be found at http://katiedoesartthings.tumblr.com/

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Coming Soon: Our First Kickstarter!

We’re happy to announce that we will be putting together a stand-alone anthology tied to Mad Scientist Journal. But we’re changing gears from mad science to the liberal arts with an anthology that we are looking to crowdfund. Over the last few months, we’ve been laying the groundwork and are now ready to give you a glimpse at our next ambitious project: That Ain’t Right: Historical Accounts of the Miskatonic Valley. We’ll be trading in our time machines and super-viruses for secret cults and squamous horrors. We’re looking to launch this on February 15th and run for  four weeks. It will be our first physical book that we’ve put together, and we’re really excited. We’ll share more as we get closer to the launch date, but for now enjoy this beautiful cover art put together by two of our regular illustrators, Shannon Legler and Katie Nyborg:

That Ain't Right: Historical Accounts of the Miskatonic Valley

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The Young Naturalist’s Corner: Strange Lizards of Amprad

An essay by Prof. Ann A. Shipwell, as provided by K.C. Shaw
Art by Leigh Legler


When I was a little girl, my friends and I were encouraged to collect flowers and ferns. In this way, we learned techniques for plant preservation, discovered which plants grew around our village, and got fresh air and exercise. I daresay our parents were happy to have us out from underfoot as well.

In my case, these collecting excursions developed into a love of both botany and exploration which has shaped my adult life. But even before I placed my first flower between sheets of waxed paper, I was a keen observer of lizards. As you may know, the country of Amprad is home to over a dozen species of lizard, three of them unique to our islands. What you may not know is how easy it is to find these elegant creatures and learn all about them.

#

Even if you live in our great city of Nexa, you needn’t wait for a holiday to the countryside to start your observations. The Spotted Basilisk is common within the city. During the day, they bask on rooftops or other sunny spots, saving their energy for night-time prowls. Most basilisks are about the length of your own hand, not counting the tail. Their bumpy scales are brown or gray with yellow spots in rows along each side. These yellow spots warn other animals not to eat the basilisk–because this lizard has a natural poison in its blood.

As an example of the basilisk’s poison, I will share a story from when I was seven or eight years old. My brother and I had been sent to Nexa to stay with relatives over the summer, and one day my cousin Winnie and I happened upon a poor stray cat who had, I thought, been killed in such a way that it died standing up. The thin little body was absolutely stiff. Winnie, however, knew what had happened.

The cat, no doubt desperate for food, had bitten a basilisk. The poison had taken effect so quickly that the animal had not been able to hide before its muscles grew completely rigid. I examined it with interest. It had not had a fatal dose, which would stop the muscles of the heart and diaphragm (which enables us all to breathe), but its pulse was dangerously slow and its breathing shallow.

I picked up the cat, which felt like a carved wooden toy covered with fur. Winnie and I took it back to her home, where we kept it comfortable and watched for any change. It took three whole days for the cat’s muscles to relax! It was terribly weak after its ordeal, but Winnie and I fed it with beef broth and other nourishing foods and I am happy to say that it recovered fully. It remained absolutely devoted to Winnie for the rest of its years and proved a fine mouser–but it would flee in terror from any reptile, no matter how harmless.

The spotted basilisk moves slowly, which makes it easy to catch. It becomes tame quite easily and thrives upon crickets, mice, and earthworms. Many people believe that the basilisk can paralyze merely by looking at someone, but of course that is nonsense. Only the true basilisk, a rare reptile that lives in the desert wastes of Pruiff, has a paralyzing gaze.

The Young Naturalist's Corner: Strange Lizards of Amprad


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2014 collection.


Professor Shipwell taught botany at the Rampark College in Hule for eight years before accepting a commission from the Amprad Botanical Gardens to travel and collect specimens for their collection. She was born in Bad Rock in Southern Amprad and attended Nexa University. In her spare time she trains Demon Bats to sing. She also knits.


K.C. Shaw’s fiction has appeared in numerous magazines and anthologies, including Beneath Ceaseless Skies and Daily Science Fiction. Visit her website at http://kcshaw.net.


Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.

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Return of the Long Lost Special Call for Submissions!

For the first time since last summer, we are opening our submission box once again for submissions outside of our weekly “essays.” From now until the end of February, we will be looking for submissions in three broad categories.

  • Flash and Short fiction of any sort.
  • Mad scientist classified ads.
  • Questions for our Mad Scientist advice columns.

For details on submission, visit our Submissions page! Please note that if you try to submit by some bizarre method, like commenting on this post, your submission will be deleted unread.

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A Bad Case of Rabies

The journal of Andy Ortega, discovered by Jason Bougger
Art by Luke Spooner


About three months ago, I quit my job in Chemical Weapon research and moved back to Denison to take care of my sick mother. By mere chance, my research had given me hope of a potential cure for her illness.

And though well-intended, I hold nothing but regret for making the decision to return to my hometown. It wasn’t that I had anything against Denison, and I certainly didn’t miss living on the base. In fact, Denison was just like I remembered–a small town populated by the kind of good, hardworking people that made me proud to have grown up here.

I even reconnected with a few of my old high school buddies. At the time my story really begins, three of these friends happened to be aiming their rifles at my head.

I dropped my gun, knowing I had no other choice.

“Get down on your knees, Andy.” It was Lyle Maxwell giving the orders. The same Lyle Maxwell that I got caught smoking cigarettes with behind the school in the seventh grade. He gestured toward the ground with his rifle. “I mean it. Let’s not make this any more difficult than it needs to be.”

“How much more difficult could it be?” I asked, dropping to my knees. I studied Lyle’s face for a few more seconds, hoping to find a trace of sympathy, but finding none.

“Andy, just keep your mouth shut,” Ronnie Waller said. I wasn’t surprised to see a tear running down Ronnie’s cheek. He always was the crier. Even stupid things, like losing a high school football game, would set him off.

“You don’t want to shoot me,” I said, glancing from Lyle, to Ronnie, then to Glenn Hitchens, who stood a few feet behind them. Glenn’s hands were shaking so much it was a miracle he hadn’t accidently pulled the trigger.

I made eye contact with Glenn. “I’m not … I’m not one of them.”

“Oh, Andy, I don’t–”

“Shut up,” Lyle said. He flipped the rifle around, gripping it by the barrel, then held it up like a baseball bat and swung.

I held out my arms to block the blow, but Glenn darted out from behind Lyle and grabbed the gun before it made contact. “Lyle, stop it. He’s right. We don’t know if he’s been infected yet.”

Lyle pulled his weapon free from Glenn’s grip. He held his position for a few seconds before backing down. “Well then where in the hell has he been all this time?”

“How should I know?” Glenn asked. “But why don’t we just lock him up for a couple of days and see how he turns out?”

A moment passed and then Lyle responded. “Fine. We’ll give him a couple of days. But if he shows any signs, Glenn, then it’ll be your ass that has to finish him off.”

I finally exhaled. At least Glenn still had a bit of sense left.

“We haven’t seen you since this shit started,” Ronnie said, talking more to the scope of his rifle than to me directly.

“I was hiding,” I pleaded. “I’m clean, ya know?”

“We’ll see about that,” Ronnie said. He set his gun on the ground and cautiously walked behind me. He then threw down his backpack and took out a rope. “Ya know, this hasn’t been easy on any of us.”

“You’re telling me,” I said, annoyed yet relieved to still be breathing. I knew that all I needed to do was stay alive for a couple of days–long enough to come up with an escape plan.

That, and make sure I didn’t start foaming at the mouth.

A Bad Case Of Rabies


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2014 collection.


It was never Andy Ortega’s intention to work in black op projects. His first love was science. It was his graduate research in vaccinations that caught the Pentagon’s eye. After spending four years working on confidential immunizations to chemical attacks, he declined renewing his contract and moved back to his hometown to continue his research in private, while taking care of his sick mother.


Jason Bougger is an IT professional and a lifelong fan of horror, science fiction, and fantasy. He grew up in Brainard, Nebraska and currently lives in Omaha with his wife and kids. His fiction has appeared in anthologies published by Gothic City Press and Misanthrope Press and online in The WiFiles and The Story Shack. You can visit his blog at www.jasonbougger.com.


Luke Spooner a.k.a. ‘Carrion House’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.


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A Dispatch from an Otherwise Unremarkable Planet

An essay by Scout 1188-A, as provided by S. R. Algernon
Art by Dawn Vogel


This is Scout 1188-A, operating under the auspices of the distal arm division of the Consortium Exploration Group. I am checking in to report a finding of minor interest on a planet currently orbiting a red giant in the periphery of my sector. The salvage team has discovered a granite slab at the center of what seems to have been a city. It has no monetary or cultural value to speak of, particularly since the red giant will swallow up the planet before too long anyway. I see no need for a follow-up visit. However, the inscription may be of some use to the Consortium Archivist since there is apparently already a file on this civilization. I am sending it to the Core for processing and proceeding to the next system on my list.

[Translation algorithms engaged. Commencing holographic projection feed.]

The golden disk landed with such force that it knocked the local farmers to the ground. The few who had, by chance, looked up in the moment before impact reported seeing a sphere of fire that collapsed and disintegrated as it fell.

After some discussion and a few whispered prayers, they agreed that this was a job best left for the scholars. They sent a runner out the next morning to the old city. Even the most provincial of the locals knew that strange things could be found in the cities. Learned men and women there had catalogued the ruins; some of them made a bit of money on the side by carting their wonders from town to town and letting the townsfolk see them in exchange for food, cloth, or coins.

The scholars had never seen such an artifact before, but they declared it to resemble a wheel, albeit with grooves etched into the side. They knew of wheels and gears and mills, but they did not spend much time studying them. This is a job for the engineers, they said. They carted the disk to a laboratory in a depleted quarry on the outskirts of the city.

The engineers deduced that wheels were meant to spin and, upon mounting the wheel onto a platform, they found that a needle placed within the grooves of the disk would produce sound. The sounds were faint at first but, with practice and judicious use of an animal horn, the engineers amplified them until they revealed themselves to be, without question, a voice. The engineers knew little of languages, so they carted the wheel, the needle, and the horn back to the scholars.

The voice was human, the scholars surmised. The locals who paid for a chance to listen reached the same conclusion, but the voice babbled nonsense. Could it be the voice of the gods?

A Dispatch from an Otherwise Unremarkable Planet


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2014 collection.


Scout 1188-A explores the slushy wastes of the galactic periphery and is always on the look out for intelligent life. Scout 1188-A hopes to retire once the backlog of first contact applications has been sorted out, or at the heat death of the universe, whichever comes first.


S. R. Algernon studied fiction writing and biology, among other things, at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. His writing interests include sociological science fiction, Japanese science fiction, alternate histories and puzzle stories like Asimov used to write. He currently resides in Singapore.


Dawn Vogel has been published as a short fiction author and an editor of both fiction and non-fiction. Although art is not her strongest suit, she’s happy to contribute occasional art to Mad Scientist Journal. By day, she edits reports for and manages an office of historians and archaeologists. In her alleged spare time, she runs a craft business and tries to find time for writing. She lives in Seattle with her awesome husband (and fellow author), Jeremy Zimmerman, and their herd of cats. For more of Dawn’s work visit http://historythatneverwas.com/

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That Man Behind the Curtain: December 2013

And now, the numbers.

The Money Aspect

Amounts in parentheses are losses/expenses.

Hosting: ($17.06)
Stories: ($115.00)
Art: ($200.00)
Advertising: ($10.00)
Paypal Fees: ($8.05)
Donations: $0.00
Ad Revenue: $0.28
Book Sales: $5.08
Total: ($302.66)
QTD: ($831.57)
YTD: ($4,196.52)
All Time: ($7,512.57)

As per usual, I try to list costs for art and stories under the month that the stories run on the site rather than when I pay them. I also cover Paypal expenses when paying authors and artists.

December also had some extra expenses for paying for exclusive content and the cover work by Katie Nyborg.

Despite an increase in traffic (described below), all of our scant income has dropped this month. I’ve started doing some small advertising for individual stories, and that’s helped the traffic. Since we make such low gross income most of the time, it’s hard to know how much weight to give any downturn in income.

We do have some new things we’ll be trying in 2014, so keep your eyes peeled.

Submissions

In December we received 12 submissions, of which we accepted 6. That’s 50% for the month. Our all-time acceptance rate is 55.69%%.

This gives us enough content for the site through April 2014.

Traffic

Traffic increased in December. We had a total of 920 visits, up from November’s. Our traffic consisted of 574 unique visitors and 2,053 page views. Our highest daily traffic was 91 visits.

December’s search engine term of the month is “ebay 1979’s quilt patterns.” Because I’d like to believe that eBay gained sentience, and traveled back in time to 1979 to sell quilt patterns.

That’s all I’ve got to say for now.

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