Correspondence initiated by Unclassified Sample 38267, as provided by Julia K. Patt
Art by Leigh Legler
Are you there, Professor? It’s me, Unclassified.
You: A brilliant but ostracized xenobiologist, recently denied tenure from a prestigious university.
Me: The beaker of extraterrestrial goop you definitely weren’t supposed to bring home from the lab and combine with iguana DNA and an unfertilized condor egg. (Seriously, isn’t that sort of an extreme response?)
Look, I don’t blame you for running out the door when I hatched, but we really should talk.
Awaiting your reply.
~
Professor: Where are you, Unclassified?
I’m sorry about abandoning you. I didn’t expect you to be so big. And scaly. And feathery. And sentient. It’s been a long month. No tenure and then fired in disgrace.
Not to mention Angela.
You weren’t in the lab when I came back. Tell me where to find you and we’ll talk.
~
Unclassified: In due time.
I’m doing fine now, thanks for asking. Some skater kids adopted me and set me up in an abandoned building by the docks. They’re teaching me how to do flips. And what sarcasm is.
Who’s Angela?
~
I’m doing fine now, thanks for asking. Some skater kids adopted me and set me up in an abandoned building by the docks. They’re teaching me how to do flips. And what sarcasm is.
Professor: I’m not kidding. Where are you?
We need to get you contained as soon as possible. No one’s had the opportunity to study your biology. You could be toxic. Lives could be at risk.
Angela is my ex-wife.
To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2018 collection.
Unclassified Sample 38267 originally fell to earth from a passing asteroid and was recovered by one Professor F., who, in a fit of rage combined their DNA with an iguana and a condor. Since their creation, Unclassified has taken up many hobbies, including skateboarding, meditation, and urban exploration. They work part-time advertising for their favorite taco truck, Monster Tacos.
Julia K. Patt lives in Maryland with the smallest, furriest Elder God and her unwitting orange tabby acolyte, which never fails to make life interesting. Her stories have recently appeared in Clarkesworld, Escape Pod, and Luna Station Quarterly, and she is at work on a novel. Twitter: @chidorme. Website: juliakpatt.com.
Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.
“Missed Connections: Creature Seeking Creator” is Copyright 2018 Julia K. Patt
Art accompanying story is © 2018 Leigh Legler
