An interview with Lillian Belladonna from Evil Science Quarterly: The Leader in Mad Science News and Trends, as provided by Arinn Dembo
LB: Excuse me?
ESQ: Your name is Italian, isn’t it? I thought it meant “beautiful lady.”
LB: No, no, no. I didn’t mean “excuse me, I don’t understand the words coming out of your face.” I meant “Excuse me, are you seriously objectifying me as a woman before this interview even begins.”
Now let’s try again. Keeping in mind that I have sole control of a giant plant monster.
ESQ: Excuse you? On the contrary, Doctor. Please excuse us. We meant no offense.
LB: You’re learning already.
LB: That remains to be seen. I gather you had some real questions? Perhaps about my work. OR MY GIANT PLANT MONSTER.
ESQ: Yes. Let’s talk Shrubby! That’s what you call the creature?
LB: Yes. She responds well to gestures of affection. “Shrubby” is her nickname.
ESQ: What was the full name?
LB: Shrub-Ziggurath. After the famous goddess of Nature and fertility in literature. Shrubby is the harbinger of a Green Revolution–I thought she should have a name that fit the job at hand.
ESQ: So the Kaiju is definitely female?
LB: Not in the scientific sense. Shrubby is a monoecious hermaphrodite. The female and male reproductive structures are on the same plant, as in most of its smaller cousins from the genus Dionaea. I gather you don’t specialize in Mad Botany?
ESQ: We are eager to learn more, Doctor.
LB: Yes, I imagine everyone will be showing a little more respect for Nature for at least a few more years.
LB: Oh, it’s very simple. I intend to save this planet from its human infestation.
ESQ: Human … infestation?
LB: Clear-cutting, slash-and-burn agriculture, chemical defoliants, destruction of wetlands and habitats? Yes. I think the devastation of this ecosphere warrants harsh language. I view the current power structure of our species as a forestry problem. I intend to solve it.
ESQ: By crushing cities?
LB: Yes. Sometimes you have to burn down the dead trees and re-plant in the ashes, when a forest is sick. When I rebuild the new Eden, there will be more Paradise. Fewer parking lots.
ESQ: Are you sure you’re an EVIL Scientist, Doctor? That sounds almost … messianic of you.
LB: There’s nothing worse than salvation.
Arinn Dembo is a multi-genre author and the Lead Writer of Kerberos Productions, a computer game development studio in Vancouver, BC. Her prize-winning short stories and poetry have appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Weird Tales, Lamp Light Magazine, H.P. Lovecraft’s Magazine of Horror, and several anthologies. Although she is best known for the games and novels set in the Sword of the Stars universe that she created for Kerberos Productions, her guest post today is for a new game, Kaiju-a-Gogo.
To learn more about ruling the world with super-science and giant remote-controlled monsters, see the Kickstarter campaign for the game at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kerberosproductions/kaiju-a-gogo.