An interview with Norman E. Farious from Evil Science Quarterly: The Leader in Mad Science News and Trends, as provided by Arinn Dembo
N.E.F.: Doctor Nigel Farious, yes. And the grandson of Nestor Edgar Farious. The nephew of Nancy Egan Farious, as well.
ESQ: And you are Norman Erasmus Farious yourself, according to your recent Manifesto. How does it feel to be the latest Doctor N. E. Farious?
N.E.F.: It can be a burden at times, I must admit. As a boy I wanted to be a dentist, for example, but my parents forbade it–I was their only child, and there simply was no room in the family castle for a Farious D.D.S.
Eventually I became reconciled to the burden of greatness, of course. Our family name has a long and vivid history, and now that I’ve assumed the mantle, I shall be the best Doctor N. E. Farious I can.
ESQ: You’re certainly off to a roaring start. Ginormasaurus is … an impressive contribution. May we ask how long the Great Machine took to build?
N.E.F.: A lifetime, really. I was working on the first prototypes and schematics when I was seven. The vision of a mechanical, city-destroying dinosaur has always delighted me.
ESQ: Can you tell us anything about the construction and design of the robot? Without revealing any trade secrets, of course.
N.E.F.: Well, anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of mechanical engineering will see the most obvious things. Every piece of the robot’s internal structure is made of cast titanium, for example. Light, durable, resistant to corrosion, and less stiff than steel …
ESQ: I imagine that’s useful in the legs and tail sections?
ESQ: Is there any truth to the rumor that you’ve built an atomic forge on the Moon?
N.E.F.: No, that’s nonsense. Not every vacuum forge capable of reaching temperatures of 1650 degrees Celsius is on the bloody Moon.
ESQ: On a related topic … rumor has it that the Great Machine is fueled by a Purpletonium Reactor. Is this correct?
N.E.F.: I see no reason to deny it. Purpletonium is wonderful stuff.
ESQ: Is there any truth to the rumor that you actually gave Purpletonium its … unusual name?
N.E.F.: Yes and no. I was indirectly responsible for that unfortunate sobriquet. In fact, it was my young ward Nicky who had the honour. She found the first meteoric fragment when we were searching the Siberian crater, and thereby earned the right to name the stuff.
Unfortunate, but nothing to be done. A gentleman does not renege upon a friendly wager with an eight-year-old orphan. Nor upon a Pinky Swear.
N.E.F.: You have to ask? “Nefarium,” of course.
ESQ: Speaking of Nefarious deeds … have you given any thought to your next target, Doctor?
N.E.F.: I have.
ESQ: Can you tell us whether we’re in the line of fire?
N.E.F.: Of course you are. This is about world domination! You cannot make an omelet the size of a planet without cracking a few heads.
ESQ: Can you promise to spare our home offices?
N.E.F.: I could, if I was so inclined.
ESQ: Would you pinky swear?
N.E.F.: Never again!
Arinn Dembo is a multi-genre author and the Lead Writer of Kerberos Productions, a computer game development studio in Vancouver, BC. Her prize-winning short stories and poetry have appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Weird Tales, Lamp Light Magazine, H.P. Lovecraft’s Magazine of Horror, and several anthologies. Although she is best known for the games and novels set in the Sword of the Stars universe that she created for Kerberos Productions, her guest post today is for a new game, Kaiju-a-Gogo.
To learn more about ruling the world with super-science and giant remote-controlled monsters, see the Kickstarter campaign for the game at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kerberosproductions/kaiju-a-gogo.