Supernatural Zoological Fluids and Their Applications

An essay by Professors Tabitha and Helga Krantz, Department of Supernatural Zoology, University of Morbach, Germany
Provided by Andy Brown
Art by Luke Spooner


The purpose of this project was to explore the potential uses of naturally produced supernatural zoological fluids. It was partly financed by the Supernatural Animal Protection Society (SAPS) as part of the recent SAPS proposal to raise awareness about the invasive procedures used in previous research into supernatural creatures.

~

Troll Grease

Troll grease is found in great abundance in the armpits, the buttock cleft, between the thighs, behind the ears, and in the belly button of trolls. This foul smelling, dark brown substance has the consistency of soft cheese. Trolls must be sedated before collecting the grease, which has to be scraped from the creature using large metallic spoons. Occasionally, hammers and chisels have to be used to remove solidified lumps.

The grease has a number of applications. In its raw form, it acts as a powerful repellent. A 2 milligram piece of grease is enough to clear a house of any pests, from termites and spiders to rats and birds. It needs to be treated with caution, as it is equally repellant to humans. Hazmat suits had to be worn at all times during tests to protect our team from the effects of the grease. Raymond, our lab technician, was rendered unconscious for several days after he was exposed to a dirty chisel.

When diluted (1:150,000) in alcohol, the grease had powerful stimulant properties. During tests, three of our students stayed awake for 120 hours by using a nasal spray every 4 hours. Mentally and physically, the students performed at approximately 150% of normal. Side effects included a marked loss of olfactory response, protruding eyeballs, and flatulence. When the effect of the spray wore off, the students lapsed into unconsciousness for 20 hours.

Art for "Supernatural Zoological Fluids and Their Applications"

Sirens are very dangerous to store while milking, since the slightest sound produced by these creatures is enough to induce a trance. A system was developed that utilised a noise-cancelling version of an air lock. Full noise-cancelling helmets had to be worn at all times in the presence of the sirens.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 collection.


Professors Tabitha and Helga Krantz are conjoined twins who share a torso and internal organs. They obtained degrees in Biology, Chemistry, and Crypto-Zoology at the University of Harghita in Transylvania. Tabitha and Helga have six brothers, who are also conjoined twins. The Krantz family motto is “Duo Capita Sunt Meliora Quam Unum” (Two Heads Are Better Than One).


Andy Brown is a musician and entertainer living near Edinburgh in Scotland. (He doesn’t currently own a kilt but does play bagpipes a little.) He is a pleasant enough fellow with a healthy interest in many things and an obsessive interest in many others. (Music, computers, astronomy, reading, writing…) He plays a wide variety of instruments to a wide variety of standards. His greatest happiness is his family and the fact that he wakes every morning still breathing. His greatest sadness is that he might die before warp travel, teleportation, and Klingons are discovered.


Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.


“Supernatural Zoological Fluids and Their Applications” is © 2017 Andy Brown
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Luke Spooner

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That Man Behind the Curtain: December 2016

Look at our cats. Look at them!

December was about publishing the Winter 2017 quarterly, the last bit of shipping for Fitting In, and receiving submissions. It’s also the end of the calendar year.

The Money Aspect

Amounts in parentheses are losses/expenses.
Hosting: ($17.06)
Stories: ($40.00)
Art: ($151.41)
Advertising: ($20.00)
Processing Fees: ($33.95)
Printing: ($367.32)
Shipping: ($817.23)
Donations: $33.71
Ad Revenue: $0.35
Online Book Sales: $75.99

Total: ($1,336.92)
QTD: ($3,814.73)
YTD: ($5,880.43)
All Time: ($20,024.47)

As usual, I try to list costs for art and stories under the month that the stories run on the site rather than when I pay them. (This does not apply to special content, which does not have a specific month associated with it.) Sales are for sales when they take place, not when it’s actually paid out to me.

Shipping is finally paid for Fitting In. For most of our backers, we had shipped things straight out of Createspace. But for the signed books and our hardcovers we needed to ship them personally. The shipping costs were a bit more than anticipated, particularly international packages.

Submissions

We were open to submissions in December. We had 29 submissions, of which we accepted 12. All time acceptance rate is 44.2%.

Followers

At the end of December:

Facebook: 1,407 (+0)

Twitter: 490 (+0)

Google+: 62 (+1)

Tumblr: 193 (+2)

Mailing List: 66 (+1)

Patreon: 12 (+1)

Traffic

In December we had 916 visits with 700 users and 1,564 page views. Our peak day was 61 visits.

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The Hall of the Fallen

An essay by Professor Serena Hart, as provided by Maureen Bowden
Art by GryphonShifter


Valerie Hallaway and I were students together at River City University.

“She’s a genius,” I told Martin, my best friend and occasional bedmate.

“She’s more than half mad,” he said.

He was right. Valerie had a theory that there must be a scientific explanation for why people deliberately sacrifice their lives in battle, die as martyrs, or strap explosives to their bodies, turning themselves into flesh and blood bombs.

“There’s no stronger instinct than self-preservation,” she said, “so what overrides that?”

I shrugged. “Adrenalin and testosterone. There’s no mystery about it.”

“Women do it too. So much for testosterone.”

“Maybe they want vengeance. I doubt if there’s a woman alive who doesn’t have good reason to be brassed off about something or other.”

“True, but there’s something else, and I’m going to find it.”

I guessed she’d be rich and famous one day, so I tagged along, hoping for a share of the bounty. We scoured museums and conned the history geeks into allowing us to take flakes from ancient warriors’ bones, and then we turned our attention to the twenty-first century. She was particularly interested in suicide bombers, so we haunted the sites of some of the worst atrocities of modern times, scraping blood splatter and human tissue from broken brickwork and shattered pavements. It was the task I hated most. “What use is this to you?” I said. “It’s the debris of deluded idiots.”

“The world’s full of deluded idiots, Rena,” she said, “but they don’t all blow themselves up. There has to be an unknown ingredient.”

Art for "The Hall of the Fallen"

She was particularly interested in suicide bombers, so we haunted the sites of some of the worst atrocities of modern times, scraping blood splatter and human tissue from broken brickwork and shattered pavements. It was the task I hated most.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 collection.


Professor Serena Hart is a recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, and she has a PhD in human and animal psychology. She specialises in the effect of sound waves on emotions and behaviour patterns. Her partner, Doctor Martin Goodman, is an eminent veterinary surgeon. They have two pet rats called John and Yoko.


Maureen Bowden is a Liverpudlian living with her musician husband in North Wales. She has had seventy-five poems and short stories accepted for publication by paying markets. Silver Pen publishers nominated one of her stories for the 2015 international Pushcart Prize. She loves her family and friends, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Shakespeare, and cats.


GryphonShifter is a Seattle-area artist with a background in illustration. She graduated with a BFA in Digital Art and Animation from DigiPen Institute of Technology and now hones her skills with her own art projects. Though she has a wide variety of artistic inspirations, her art is most influenced by the challenging balance between wanting to draw really cute things and a fascination with creepy monsters.


“The Hall of the Fallen” is © 2017 Maureen Bowden
Art accompanying story is © 2017 GryphonShifter

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An Interview with Rivqa Rafael About Problem Daughters

Photo of Rivqa RafaelFuturefire.net Publishing and co-editors Nicolette Barischoff, Rivqa Rafael, and Djibril al-Ayad are fundraising for a new pro-paying speculative fiction anthology. Problem Daughters will amplify the voices of women who are sometimes excluded from mainstream feminism. It will be an anthology of beautiful, thoughtful, unconventional speculative fiction and poetry around the theme of intersectional feminism, with a specific focus on the lives and experiences of women of colour, QUILTBAG women, disabled women, sex workers, and any intersection of these. Please support the fundraiser by pre-ordering a copy of the anthology or picking up another perk at http://igg.me/at/problem-daughters.

Rivqa Rafael joins us to answer a few questions about the anthology.


Is there a particular type of story you’d love to see in Problem Daughters? In a perfect world, what sort of story would open the anthology?

I’d like to see things that I don’t even know exist! I’m hoping that Problem Daughters will expand people’s horizons, and I include myself in that. Non-Western narratives, different forms of feminism (such as womanism and Chicana feminism), folklore from around the world, the lived experience of women whose existence might be similar to mine, but vastly different in others.

To open the anthology, I’d love something richly complex that reflects this in some way. Exactly what manifestation is hard to say before we’ve read any submissions, but I feel like we’ll know it when we see it. Will it be an easy read? Quite possibly not, but that’s not really the point, is it?

 

What are some of your favorite works of speculative fiction? Why is speculative fiction an effective genre for anthologies like Problem Daughters?

My favourites seem to be more transient than they used to be, but I’ll answer based on things I’ve read this year: Ann Leckie’s The Imperial Radch trilogy has brilliant worldbuilding and gave me so much to think about; Nnedi Okorafor’s Binti is one of the best novellas I’ve read in a long time; and Sofia Samatar’s A Stranger in Olondria and The Winged Histories both left me with a beautifully aching heart.

They’re all very different, yet all three authors easily and simultaneously transport me to another place, make me care about it even though it doesn’t actually exist, and keep me thinking about their underlying themes long after I’ve finished the book. To me, that’s speculative fiction at its best, and exactly what Problem Daughters will be aiming to do, with intersectional feminism being the underlying food for thought.

 

Why do you think traditional feminist narratives have a tendency to leave people out? What do you think Problem Daughters will add to the conversation of feminist literature that more generally themed pro-woman anthologies cannot?

Fiction has the same problem as reality in this respect. Tribalism, both acknowledged and subconscious, makes us put people like us first. People try to reduce complex, systemic issues to a pithy slogan or headline. We tell the most vulnerable people to wait their turn and accept the scraps from the big kids’ table.

This is not OK, and with Problem Daughters we want to turn oversimplified feminism on its head and welcome nuance, messiness and complexity. Without specifically aiming to do this, even the most well-intentioned feminist anthology editor could subconsciously select those simpler messages. We want to move beyond the “strong female character” who has no feelings. Way, way beyond.

 

Why is representation in fiction important? Why do you think it’s so necessary for people to be able to see characters like themselves (or very unlike themselves) in what they read?

Rudine Sims Bishop’s metaphor of “mirrors, windows, and sliding glass doors” (http://www.psdschools.org/webfm/8559) covers this really well. Both are important: having a window—a small taste of another experience—can help us build empathy and understanding for others (that’s when the window becomes a sliding door), while seeing ourselves mirrored in fiction can build self-esteem and lead us to consider possibilities we otherwise might have thought impossible.

But when you’re only ever looking through a window, and never into a mirror, the imbalance can be incredibly damaging. Generally speaking, minorities already over-empathise with majority populations, managing the fragile egos of people who don’t want to be called “cis” or informed of their own racism—but very little of this courtesy is returned.

As galling as it is for me to hear cis men say that they can’t relate to female characters, they are in fact numerous and well-represented—at least, as long as they’re cis, straight and white. By contrast, mainstream spec fic representations of Jewish people are few, far between, and rarely more than revolting stereotypes. It was particularly disheartening to see, over and over, while people talked about antisemitism as if it was a relic of the past (although that’s been less of common in recent times). The rare occasions when I have read a good Jewish representation is affirming and inspiring; it’s only through that experience that I’ve started to develop the confidence to write Jewish characters of my own. More and better representation would have helped me as a writer and a person, no question.


Rivqa Rafael is a queer Jewish writer and editor based in Sydney. She started writing speculative fiction well before earning degrees in science and writing, although they have probably helped. Her previous gig as subeditor and reviews editor for Cosmos magazine likewise fueled her imagination. Her short stories have appeared in Hear Me Roar (Ticonderoga Publications), The Never Never Land (CSFG Publishing), and Defying Doomsday (Twelfth Planet Press). In 2016, she won the Ditmar Award for Best New Talent. When she’s not working, she’s most likely child-wrangling, playing video games, or practising her Brazilian Jiujitsu moves. She can be found at rivqa.net and on Twitter as @enoughsnark.

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Quantum Entanglement for Better Living

An essay by Fremde Zwilling, CEO, Paradoxical Twins, Inc.
Brought to our attention by E. B. Fischadler[1]
Art by America Jones


One of the most curious developments in quantum physics is quantum entanglement. This is a phenomenon that allows two particles to behave in a manner consistent with instantaneous exchange of information with no apparent connection. If two entangled particles are created with specific quantum states, they will maintain the relationship between their quantum states. If a quantum state–for example, spin–of one particle changes abruptly, the corresponding state of an entangled particle changes simultaneously. The most interesting—and, we propose, useful–aspect of this phenomenon is that it occurs regardless of the distance separating the two particles. Einstein argued it was an error in understanding, referring to it as “spooky action at a distance.” The scientists at Paradoxical Twins, Inc., don’t pretend to understand quantum physics well enough to explain this phenomenon, nor do they have sufficient facility with relativity to explain to me how one determines simultaneity of two separated particles.[2] Even so, they have somehow managed to harness this phenomenon, through a combination of sketchy knowledge, chutzpah, and sheer good luck, to put this effect to good use.

~

How it Works

If individual particles can be entangled, it is conceivable that ordered groups of particles can also be entangled. Since the quantum states of every particle in one group change identically to the quantum states of every particle in an entangled group, we find that the two groups respond identically to a stimulus, even though that stimulus is applied only to one of the groups. If one creates two ordered groups, each comprising a sensor (e.g., a microphone), and entangles these two groups, one has created a remote sensing system with several useful properties:

  • Zero delay: The local group will sense whatever the distant group senses at the very same instant. No longer need we tolerate delays of several hours in receiving sounds from Pluto.
  • Noise free transmission: Since all the quantum states of the group are entangled, the local sensor will react exactly as the distant sensor. There are no transmission distortions, no noise, and no dropouts.
  • Compactness: With quantum entanglement sensing, there is no need for a transmitter, receiver, nor their accompanying power supplies and antennas.
  • Stealth: Quantum entangled sensors communicate only via quantum entanglement. Thus there are no radio signals to allow detection of a sensor, nor can the transmissions be intercepted, blocked, or spoofed. At least until the bad guys figure out how to use quantum entanglement in this manner.

It would be just like tying two Dixie cups together with string–only without the string.

~

Art for "Quantum Entanglement for Better Living"

A major maker of surgical implements built 10,000 scalpels using the IdentiCopy system. The original cost only $10 to make. Paradoxical Twins proposed to disentangle the scalpels for $10,000,000. Unfortunately, negotiations between the company and the machinists’ union were not going well. When hundreds of surgical interns severed fingers due to a worker leaving a sharp edge on the handle, the courts awarded $10 BILLION to the young surgeons.

~

[1] Why would an otherwise reasonable person bring us this?

[2] It seems to me that when the first particle changes state, a message is sent by an experimenter to the location of the second particle. This message travels at the speed of light, so the second observer must somehow register that the event occurred at his article at a specific instant in the past. Otherwise, the state change propagated at light speed.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 collection.


Fremde Zwilling is the founder and chief executive officer of Paradoxical Twins, Inc. He first became interested in quantum entanglement when he and his twin brother developed appendicitis on the same day. Though he was a sociology major, Mr. Zwilling hung out with the science majors. Paradoxical Twins, Inc., is the result of some late night beerfests with those classmates.


E. B. Fischadler has been writing short stories for several years, and has recently begun publishing. His stories have appeared in Mad Scientist Journal, Bewildering Stories, eFiction, Voluted Tales, Beyond Imagination Literary Magazine, and Beyond Science Fiction. In addition to fiction, Fischadler has published over 30 papers in refereed scientific journals, as well as a chapter of a textbook on satellite engineering. When he is not writing, he pursues a career in engineering and serves his community as an EMT. Fischadler continues to write short stories and is working on a novel about a naval surgeon. You can learn more about Fischadler and access his other publications at: http://ebfischadler.wordpress.com/


AJ is an illustrator and comic artist with a passion for neon colors and queer culture. Catch them being antisocial on social media @thehauntedboy.


“Quantum Entanglement for Better Living” is © 2017 E. B. Fischadler
Art accompanying story is © 2017 America Jones

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Adventures of Mad Scientists!

Cover for 2017 Young Explorer's Adventure GuideSeveral of our MSJ alums have recently produced a variety of new works. Today, we’re rounding them all up!

Frequent MSJ contributor Maureen Bowden was the guest editor for the November 2016 issue of Liquid Imagination. You can read an interview with her about that role here.

Readers of our quarterly classified ads may recognize the names Scott & Loria Chaddon as regular contributors to that section. Now, you can play a card game that they’ve co-written: Bad Bears: The Game.

Finally, co-editor Dawn Vogel, along with MSJ alums Deborah Walker and Jeannie Warner, have stories in the 2017 Young Explorer’s Adventure Guide, which came out in December 2016. This book is great place for your budding middle grade mad scientists to begin!

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To Dr. Von Lupe, Concerning the Radium

A letter by Dr. Elizabeth Chu, as provided by Alanna McFall
Art by Luke Spooner


To Dr. Von Lupe, the Dark Star that Will Soon Eclipse the Sun,

Thank you, from your loyal servants and subjects. Praises be upon you, my master and liege. A million prostrations of gratitude towards you, the center of all my focus and attention. You, my revered Dr. Von Lupe, are an extraordinary man.

As you may be able to tell, we here in the underground bunker have received your latest delivery of supplies. And in your infinite wisdom and generosity, you have decided to include food this time. Food intended for humans, even! While Dr. Quinn and I were rather developing a fondness for the reconstituted chum slurry, our test subjects were not thrilled about having to split their rations. Squid can be finicky when it comes to food, and when you make them hyper-intelligent, they become craftier about expressing their frustrations. So the arrival of the canned goods has eased a lot of tensions in the cave.

I also cannot help but notice that we have some new fellow captives. Dr. Singh and Dr. Velasco are settling into their lives of enslavement nicely, and may I just say thank you for finding actual geologists this time to build your volcano machine. As marine biologists, Dr. Quinn and I are getting to learn so much we never knew about the mineral composition of our wretched subterranean home. And after almost a year and a half with only Dr. Quinn to talk to, it is nice to have some fresh faces. (I am recovering quite rapidly from where she stabbed me, by the way, and her psychosis is under much better control, I hope it will please you to know.) Overall, things are feeling quite cheery in this hole in the ground that we are destined to spend the rest of our short lives in. We truly thank you for this, oh Terrifying One.

There are, however, two small issues that are putting a strain on morale, and I hope I may have the liberty to bring them to your attention. I know your opinions on liberty in general, but I feel these are important concerns.

Firstly, there is a rapidly worsening shortage of feminine hygiene products within the bunker. I am thankfully past the age where this is a concern, but Dr. Quinn and Dr. Velasco have come into rather dire straits regarding these vital supplies. If the next supply drop could include a large number of tampons or pads, we would all be incredibly grateful.

Secondly, you appear to have given us large amounts of what seems to be unsecured radium along with the supplies. The four of us have conferred on this matter, and we feel that this situation is somewhat less than ideal for the successful running of our lab. And we hope that you will come to agree with our reasoning once I have explained it.

Art for "To Dr. Von Lupe, Concerning the Radium"

While Dr. Quinn and I were rather developing a fondness for the reconstituted chum slurry, our test subjects were not thrilled about having to split their rations. Squid can be finicky when it comes to food, and when you make them hyper-intelligent, they become craftier about expressing their frustrations. So the arrival of the canned goods has eased a lot of tensions in the cave.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 collection.


The scientific community came together today to celebrate the unveiling of the Elizabeth Chu Research Grant, a grant offered for upcoming scientists looking to make strides in the field of marine biology. The dedication of this grant comes soon after the one year anniversary of the disappearance of Dr. Elizabeth Chu, a leading expert in the field of cephalopod biology. The grant is presented as a memorial, but authorities still say they are looking for any new information on the case. Any leads pertaining to the location of Dr. Chu should be brought to the appropriate authorities immediately.


Alanna McFall is a science fiction and fantasy writer. She has worked in a variety of mediums, from short stories to novels to audio scripts, and across a range of locations, stretching the span of the country from New York to Minnesota to California. She is always looking for ways to expand her repertoire and get involved in her next project. Follow her work on Twitter at @AlannaMcFall, or on her website, alannamcfall.wordpress.com.


Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.


“To Dr. Von Lupe, Concerning the Radium” is © 2017 Alanna McFall
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Luke Spooner

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Now Available – Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017

Cover for Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017Advances in mass production, tidying tips, and suggestions for the use of supernatural fluids. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2017 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Maureen Bowden, E. B. Fischadler, and David Harrison. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, horoscopes, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Alanna McFall, Andy Brown, Richard Zwicker, Liam Hogan, Deborah Walker, Jimmy Bernard, Lyn Godfrey, Calvin Demmer, Candida Spillard, Lisha Goldberg, Laura Duerr, Chris Marchant, John A. McColley, Scott Chaddon, Kate Elizabeth, and Sean Frost. Art by Errow Collins, Luke Spooner, Amanda Jones, GryphonShifter, Shannon Legler, Scarlett O’Hairdye, Ariel Alian Wilson, Dawn Vogel, and Justine McGreevy.

Available at these retailers:

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The State of Mad Science, 2016

A speech by Professor T.D. McClure, MPhD, President of the Mad Scientists of America, presented by Laura Roberts
Art by America Jones


Dr. Evil, Mr. Vice President, Members of the International Scientific Community, my enemies, my co-conspirators, my fellow Mad Scientists:

The State of Mad Science in 2016 is a precarious one, despite our many advances, and thus I come to you today to report back on our successes, our failures, and our plans for the future. Not just for the next year, but for the next five years, the next ten years, and beyond. I believe we must focus on the future, rather than reverting to missions of the past, because the Mad Scientists of America must continue to grow, embrace change, and set an example for the twisted hearts and addled minds of the next generation of Mad Scientists.

Mad Science has been through big changes before, and we have always come out swinging. Whether we were being crushed by fascist do-gooders, removed from tenured positions at prestigious universities, or simply tarred and feathered in the press by those who misunderstood our mission, we always continued to forge ahead, to do our work in secret, and to think up new ways to demonstrate our own brand of evil genius.

The time has come, not to cower from the light, but to embrace the darkness–and to fire up the Tesla Coil! (Applause.)

Art for "The State of Mad Science, 2016"

Together, I believe we can achieve the goals of this society, and that we can finally rise above the nonsensical restrictions of the non-mad scientific community, to burst forth like a supernova of evil genius with our death rays and mind-control devices, rallying every man, woman, child, and monster to join in our plots, our schemes, and our ultimate domination of the universe.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2016 collection.


T. D. McClure holds an MPhD (Mad PhD) from Harvard, and currently serves as the President of the Mad Scientists of America. In addition to being an incredibly sought-after keynote speaker on the subjects of mad science and evil ingenuity in times of crisis, McClure has also won a Mad Nobel Prize, the National Medal of Mad Science, and a Profile in Courage Award. You may also remember McClure as the inventor of the MindRay 2.1, a mind-control device that has threatened both national and international security on a broad scale. His further exploits are detailed at Buttontapper.com.


Laura Roberts can leg-press an average-sized sumo wrestler, has nearly been drowned off the coast of Hawaii, and tells lies for a living. She is the founding editor of Black Heart Magazine, the San Diego Chapter Leader for the Nonfiction Authors Association, and publishes whatever strikes her fancy at Buttontapper Press. She currently lives in an Apocalypse-proof bunker in sunny SoCal with her artist husband and their literary kitties, and can be found online at Buttontapper.com.


AJ is an illustrator and comic artist with a passion for neon colors and queer culture. Catch them being antisocial on social media @thehauntedboy.


“The State of Mad Science, 2016” is © 2016 Laura Roberts
Art accompanying story is ©2016 America Jones

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That Man Behind the Curtain: November 2016

Photo of Artist Shannon Legler signing copies of Fitting In.

Artist Shannon Legler signing copies of Fitting In.

November was about getting books signed by authors and artists and putting together the Winter 2017 quarterly.

The Money Aspect

Amounts in parentheses are losses/expenses.
Hosting: ($17.06)
Stories: ($60.00)
Art: ($417.60)
Advertising: ($30.00)
Processing Fees: ($19.00)
Printing: ($88.23)
Donations: $44.32
Ad Revenue: $0.44
Online Book Sales: $83.67

Total: ($503.46)
QTD: ($2,477.82)
YTD: ($4,543.51)
All Time: ($18,687.55)

As usual, I try to list costs for art and stories under the month that the stories run on the site rather than when I pay them. (This does not apply to special content, which does not have a specific month associated with it.) Sales are for sales when they take place, not when it’s actually paid out to me.

The big charge that doesn’t appear yet is shipping for Fitting In. Our plan is to tally it up when it’s all done. So that will be in next month’s report.

Submissions

We were closed to submissions in November. All time acceptance rate remains at 44.7%.

Followers

At the end of November:

Facebook: 1,407 (+9)

Twitter: 490 (-1)

Google+: 61 (+0)

Tumblr: 191 (+7)

Mailing List: 65 (+1)

Patreon: 11 (+0)

Traffic

This month I learned all about referral spam. Initially Google Analytics said we’d had 2,053 visits, involving 1,381 users and 3,987 page views. This includes an anomalous spike on 11/29 and 11/30 of about 400 visits each day. Turns out that those hits were mainly bogus. After a bunch of research, I figured out how to filter those out. Instead our numbers become 949 visits with 701 users and 1,475 page views. It also makes previous months where we thought we had a lot of hits look less impressive.

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