Strange Science: The Wild, Wild, Russian West

Rolling Tumbleweed

Jez Arnold (https://www.flickr.com/photos/jezarnold/140044286/) CC-by-sa-2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/)

Few things are as evocative of America’s Old West as the tumbleweed, but this plant is not native to North America and it’s a huge problem.

Kali tragus, more commonly known as Russian thistle, is an invasive weed brought over by Russian immigrants in 1873 in a batch of flaxseed. In 15 years, the tumbleweeds had spread from South Dakota as far as California, scattering 250,000 seeds per plant as they go tumbling along. With dry weather and native prairie grass pulled up by farmers, the tumbleweed flourished.

Tumbleweeds were a menace that drove people out of their homes. They were also a fire hazard. The flammable shrubs would cluster along fences and houses, a firestorm ready to happen.

Despite the problems they caused farmers, Hollywood latched onto them as a symbol  of the frontier spirit. But the weeds still cause problems, blocking freeways and overwhelming homes. We’ll let you decide if there’s irony in that metaphor or not.

If you’d like to read more, National Geographic has a great article on the topic. Mother Nature Network has an article that includes some video footage of tumbleweeds causing problems.

Photo by Jez Arnold (Tumbleweed) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

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On Kickstarter: The Sun and the Wayward Wind

Cover of The Sun and The Wayward WindAs part of our ongoing commitment to supporting diverse creators and projects, today, we’re featuring a comic project currently on Kickstarter.

The Sun and the Wayward Wind is an anthology of comics by a huge group of creators telling historical and contemporary tales from all parts of North America, from the Arctic Circle to Oaxaca, Mexico. It’s put together by Dandelion Wine Collective, which is dedicated to spotlighting marginalized voices. And while we’re not sure if there will be tales of mad science included, we love myths and legends too!

If this sounds like your kind of comic, or the sort of project you’d like to support, you can check it out here. The campaign runs until September 14, 2017, so get over there as soon as you can!

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Send Us Your Stories!

Cover for Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017Would you like to see your stories published on this website and in our quarterly magazine? For the month of September, we are open to regular story submissions!

Please be sure to read the submission guidelines, which can be found here, carefully!

The deadline is midnight Pacific Time on September 30th, so be sure to submit your stories before we close! After that, we won’t be open again until December!

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My Fragile Butterfly

An essay by Jeremy Kelsey, as provided by Megan Dorei
Art by Leigh Legler


Subject 42 is staring at me with greenhouse eyes, symmetrically accurate rainbow worlds suspended in crystal. They were brown when I met him, but the transmutation process liquefies ocular flesh, so I had to contain them in glass. The effect is mesmerizing, but it took quite a bit of work to fashion his new eyes, almost more than it took to create the being himself.

They match the lush tropics surrounding us, protected from the sheeting rain by a dome of tempered glass. By my calculations, it will turn to snow in a matter of hours.

We watch each other for a long time. His magnificent eyes are wide and lost, and he trembles. I can’t decide if he is cold or frightened. I feel a sharp urge to reach out and take him in my arms, to hold him till the shaking subsides, but I don’t. He is the only surviving member of his set, and I have no idea yet how he will react to human stimuli.

After a while, he holds his hands in front of his face. His fingers are skeletal, his skin so pale it’s almost translucent. The veins show through like rivers. His blood is gray.

Finally he looks at me.

“What … am I?”

I’m surprised by the question. I wasn’t expecting him to be quite so cognizant so soon after emerging from chrysalis.

“You are Subject 42 of the Lepidoptera series,” I say. “I created you.”

He frowns and edges away from me. “I don’t understand,” he says. His gaze darts back and forth, taking in the vivarium, the flowers and flitting creatures. “Everything is so bright.”

Slowly, I step forward. His gaze flickers back to me, his muscles tensing. “It’s okay,” I say. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

He tries to glare at me, but his attention does not hold for very long. The butterflies have appeared, surrounding him in a storm of color and the papery murmur of wings. After a brief examination, one of them lands on his arm.

He stares at it curiously. He reaches out to stroke it with one gentle finger.

His eyes widen, glistening.

“I can taste her.”

I smile, pleasantly surprised. “Butterflies hold their taste receptacles in their feet,” I say. “The data was against you inheriting this particular trait, but you seem to be defying all my predictions.”

“Is that good or bad?”

“It’s wonderful.”

Art for "My Fragile Butterfly"

For a moment he eyes the butterflies; more of them have gathered, pulsating in circles around him. He is so thoughtful, so analytical, that I cannot imagine he isn’t as close to perfection as I am going to get.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.


Jeremy Kelsey was the son of former Congressman Thomas Kelsey. He graduated from Harvard with a degree in biochemistry and conducted groundbreaking research in genetic enhancement. When his father died of a drug overdose, he inherited his estate, the location of which he kept private. His disappearance in January still remains a mystery.


Megan Dorei lives in Lawrence, KS, with her fiancee and has been published in several anthologies. In between writing and thinking about writing, she enjoys long walks, summer nights, and contemplating how supermarkets could best be fortified in the likely event we piss off the extraterrestrials.


Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.


“My Fragile Butterfly” is © 2017 Megan Dorei
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Leigh Legler

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Strange Science: Hexadecimal Word Colors

If you’re familiar with hexadecimal codes, a shortcut for representing binary, which can be used to get a brilliant variety of colors for webpages, you may be interested in this website, called #c0ffee is the color. On this page, you can learn which real English words can be used as hexadecimal codes, and thus have a color “associated” with them.

There are alternate settings for expanded forms of hexadecimal codes, but the simplest of codes (those using numbers 0-9 and letters A-F) still provide some words that can be converted into colors.

And for the record, #c0ffee is a really difficult to read color.

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Review of Six-Gun Snow White by Catherynne M. Valente

Cover art for Six-Gun Snow WhiteSix-Gun Snow White (Subterranean Press, 2013; reprinted by Saga Press, 2015) by Catherynne M. Valente is a brilliant retelling of the story of Snow White set against an Old West backdrop. But the story is also more than a retelling, deftly weaving bits of Native American stories into the familiar tale.

In this version of the story, Snow White is the daughter of a white man and a Native American woman. When her father later marries, in comes the wicked stepmother, who treats young Snow White horribly, subjecting her to both physical and verbal abuse. Ultimately, Snow White leaves home behind, but her past still follows her. There’s a huntsman hired by her stepmother and a fantastic new take on the Seven Dwarves, as well as characters who didn’t have a part in the original tale, but who fit into this one seamlessly.

I’m a huge fan of Valente’s prose, and this book is no exception. It’s masterfully written, and though the plot twists can get weird in places, the writing is always perfect for the situation. In relation to her other books, this one is closer to Palimpset than the Fairyland books, so it’s really not a book for children, despite having a fairy tale at its core. But if you’re a fan of Valente’s writing, dark fairy tales, stories of the Old West, Native American tales, or any combination of these things, you’ll enjoy Six-Gun Snow White.

You can find a copy of Six-Gun Snow White on Amazon or through the publisher’s website.

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I, Angelica

Notorious android murderess Angelica X shares her story, as told to Wesley O. Cohen
Art by Luke Spooner


This is what I tell the others: if he had made me out of bones, Dr. Fleischmann would have liked me better. He hated the metal plates of my teeth. He hated seeing steel when he opened up my hands to fix my knuckle joints. I could see it in his face from the beginning.

I remember my first day: no screaming like real babies do. No smallness or wetness. Only a growing awareness of click-clicking noises around my head, under me. My fingers, knees, and chassis running through movements, to see if my body worked. I was born as my knees bent and straightened. My eyes opened and shut in front of my new mind. I felt the air with my fingers and my face. I was no longer an object. On purpose, I opened my mouth to taste the world. I felt coldness on my teeth.

I don’t need to eat. Dr. F could have built me with my perfect cherry mouth welded shut and I would work fine; I am charged, like any other gadget. But the shape of teeth, palate and throat and tongue, are crucial for talking like a human. He wanted to know what a machine’s voice would sound like. He didn’t know that he would hate it.

My third day, he sat down opposite me. He held no clipboard, wore no safety goggles. I felt the fabric’s weave against my skin, and air moving over my face from the ventilation system. I saw a camera, high in the corner, watching me.

“Your name is Angelica. Is that okay?” His first words to me. A good choice.

I contracted a metal diaphragm. “Yes.”

He smiled. “I’m glad. Do you know what you are?”

“Yes, I do,” I said.

The Doctor almost laughed. “And what are you, Angelica?” He leaned in and looked hard at my face the way people like to do. I am, by design, just a little shiny. Dr. F’s face was glowing. I suppose I reflected him back in a way that he liked.

I smiled to feel what it felt like. Because my face can do that: my mouth can open and close and change its shape. Every bit of me can move. The smile shaped my voice, softened it.

“I’m Angelica. I am the first of my kind.” I could see from his face that Dr. F liked my answer, liked that it baffled him a little. He sat back in his chair.

Art for "I, Angelica"

“I’m Angelica. I am the first of my kind.”


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.


Angelica X is the first of her kind. Angelica X didn’t do anything wrong. Angelica X is an ally to all just and ethical humans.

Angelica was the last invention of Dr. Robert L. Fleishmann, and is the founder of the Global Alliance for the Advancement of Robot People (GAARP). If you were an intelligent and just human, you would donate to her defense fund here.


Wesley O. Cohen is a San Francisco writer who specializes in short stories. As a journalist, she has fiercely advocated for cyborg and android rights. Her work appears in Matchbox Magazine, Star 82 Review, Potluck Mag, and Prized Writing. She graduated from University of California, Davis with a B.S. in Neurobiology, Physiology, and Behavior before attending the Juniper Summer Writing Institute at University of Massachusetts, Amherst. You can find more of her work at wesleyocohen.wordpress.com.


Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.


“I, Angelica” is © 2017 Wesley O. Cohen
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Luke Spooner

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Strange Science: Another Eclipse in 2024

Did you miss the eclipse on Monday? The good news is that you don’t have to wait long until the next total solar eclipse. There will be another in 2024.

What’s strange about the next eclipse, though, is that while the path of totality moves from the southwest to the northeast in 2024 (as opposed to from the northwest to the southeast in 2017), there is a swath of the United States that will be in the path of totality yet again!

Parts of Missouri, Illinois, and Kentucky that were in the path of totality for Monday’s eclipse, including Cape Girardeau, Missouri; Carbondale, Illinois; and Paducah, Kentucky, will once again get to witness the total eclipse in 2024.

It’s probably not too early to start making plans for a visit to these areas if you want to be in the path of totality in 2024. Based on some of the news articles about the 2017 eclipse (here and here), it’s very likely that even more people will attempt to make the journey to this part of the Midwest in 2024. And, as a bonus, the 2024 eclipse happens in April, so you won’t have to deal with the sweltering Midwestern heat the next time!

Southern Illinois University Carbondale is already preparing for the 2024 eclipse–just a little over 2,400 days from now!

 

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Mad Scientist Alumni News

Cover art for Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy 2017Our MSJ alums (and one of our co-editors) have been up to all sorts of writing excitement recently! Here’s a sampling of what we’ve heard about!

Steve Toase has a story in the Janus issue of Pantheon Magazine.

Gwendolyn Kiste’s novella, Pretty Marys All In a Row, is due out from Broken Eye Books this fall.

Caroline M. Yoachim has a new story in Fireside Magazine called “Until the Day We Go Home.” She also had two stories shortlisted for the 2017 Best American Science Fiction and Fantasy anthology, one of which made the final list and will be published in the anthology!

Erin Sneath has a story in Enigma Front: The Monster Within.

Jamie Lackey has recently published her collection of fourteen short stories, The Blood of Four Gods, through Air and Nothingness Press.

John McColley is serializing his fantasy novel called Breaking the Word through his Patreon.

Co-editor Dawn Vogel’s short story, “Miasma,” was one of the winners of the 2017 Write Well Award, and will appear in the associated anthology!

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Snap and Crackle

An essay by Doctor Rufus Highgate, as provided by Maureen Bowden
Art by Scarlett O’Hairdye


My receptionist bounced through the doorway without knocking. “The new one’s arrived, Doc. He’s a jitterer. D’ya want a slug of Mother’s Ruin before I haul him in?”

I sighed. “Please show our patients some respect, Becki, and no, I don’t require alcohol-induced euphoria in order to cope with a phobia sufferer. I’m fully in control.”

She shrugged. “Whatever you say, but you know where the bottle is, and if a tooth and claw situation develops, yell, and I’ll come a-running.”

She bellowed into the waiting room, “Edwin Pollock. In here, now.”

He shuffled up to my desk. She hovered behind him, ready to spring to my defence if he displayed anti-social tendencies. I said, “Sit down, Mr Pollock. Becki, close the door on your way out.” She slammed it. The patient flinched, then sat.

“Relax,” I said. “I’m here to help. May I call you Edwin?”

He nodded. “You don’t have any breakfast cereal in here, do you?”

“No. Do you want some?”

“What? No. Keep it away from me.” He trembled, and broke into sobs.

“Ah, I understand.”

“Do you? I wish I did.”

“You’re suffering from manifrumentaphobia.”

“What’s that?”

“Literally, fear of morning grain, in other words, breakfast cereals.”

“Can you cure me?”

“If you trust me and co-operate fully, I believe I can.”

Art for "Snap and Crackle"

“I had nightmares about thousands of them, climbing out of cereal boxes, hiding under fridges and in cupboards, waiting to pounce and kill us all.”


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.


Dr Rufus Highgate obtained his doctorate through the Open University. He is a renowned psychologist and leading expert in phobias. In 2016, he suffered a psychotic episode, and is currently receiving treatment as an in-patient at Grassendale Mental Health Clinic. It is expected that he will remain there for some time.


Maureen Bowden is a Liverpudlian living with her musician husband in North Wales. She has had eighty-four stories and poems accepted for publication by paying markets. Silver Pen publishers nominated one of her stories for the 2015 international Pushcart Prize. She also writes song lyrics, mostly comic political satire, set to traditional melodies. Her husband has performed these in Folk clubs throughout England and Wales. She loves her family and friends, Rock ‘n’ Roll, Shakespeare, and cats.


Scarlett O’Hairdye is a burlesque performer, producer and artist. To learn more, visit her site at www.scarlettohairdye.com.


“Snap and Crackle” is © 2015 Maureen Bowden
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Scarlett O’Hairdye

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