Now Available – Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017

Posted on September 26, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal

Cover Art for Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017Smart toasters, zombie offboarding, and innovations in 3-D printing. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2017 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Sean Buckley, Jule Owen, and Steve Toase. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Amanda Cherry, Sarah Cavar, Charlie Neuner, E. B. Fischadler, Christa Carmen, Tara Campbell, Judith Field, Emma Whitehall, Maureen Bowden, Isaac Teile, J. Lee Strickland, John A. McColley, Kate B. Brokaw, Jessie Kwak, Elizabeth Booth, Joachim Heijndermans, Cathleen Kivett Smith, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Art by Shannon Legler, Katie Nyborg, Errow Collins, Scarlett O’Hairdye, Luke Spooner, Ariel Alian Wilson, and Amanda Jones.

Available at these fine retailers:

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Horace McClarm’s Invention

Posted on September 25, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal

An essay by Detective Gentry Harris, as provided by Domenic diCiacca
Art by America Jones

“Let me assure you, Mr. McClarm, calling us was the right thing to do. I’m Detective Harris. Now take your time and start at the beginning, or you can simply show me where the body is.”

Electronics, mechanical gadgets, and books crowded the room. Horace McClarm sat nervously at the kitchen table, trying to balance a spoon on the edge of a teacup. He glanced sideways at me with worried rheumy eyes. “The body? Oh, dear. I’m afraid that’s going to be awkward.”

I opened my notepad and doodled circles in the left-hand margin. My partner Clayton must have set this up; it had all the earmarks of one of his elaborate pranks. When I stepped outside again, I’d likely find a dozen cops laughing their collective asses off. This morning Clayton gave me an early retirement gift, a two-dollar flip pad with my name embossed in gold on the cover: Detective Gentry Harris, alongside the astrological symbol for Mars. Cute. I can take a ribbing, really I can. But I never should have said a damn thing. “All right, Mr. McClarm, let’s just take it a step at a time. Look, I’ll help. Dwane Brice works for you, isn’t that right?”

“Yes. He helps with my inventions. It’s my hands, you see, they’re not much good anymore.” He held up bent arthritic hands as if in apology. “I can hardly button a button. But Dwane’s good with a soldering iron. Was good.”

I sucked my lip. “So Dwane Brice is dead. You called us to report it. Can you tell me what happened?”

“Well–” Horace looked at me square on for the first time. “I killed him.”

I looked squarely back. “Okay. You killed him. I believe you. Where’s the body?”

“I need a pencil.” He got up to rummage about in the silverware drawer and opened a cabinet to stare at a stack of plates. I shook my head. Pens and pencils in easy reach littered the place. “Here, use mine.” He sat to scribble on the tablecloth. “Our planet orbits the sun at about sixty-five thousand miles an hour. Did you know that?”

I found a pen and doodled another circle. “Horace? Tell me how you killed Dwane Brice.”

Art for "Horace McClarm's Invention"

I cannot begin to guess where Dwane is, he’s out there somewhere, farther than any man has ever gone. He is surely dead, but I cannot show you his corpse.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.

Detective Gentry Harris lives in the town of Bradbury, collects rocks, reads too much, and is the only cop on Mars. He is an active and well-respected member of the Jamie Duncan Seed Colony Foundation, and will soon be leaving near space for parts unknown.

Domenic diCiacca lives on a farm in Missouri where he excels as a time-share mattress for cats. Domenic’s hobby is making his wife laugh.

AJ is an illustrator and comic artist with a passion for neon colors and queer culture. Catch them being antisocial on social media @thehauntedboy.

“Horace McClarm’s Invention” is © 2017 Domenic diCiacca
Art accompanying story is © 2017 America Jones

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Strange Science: Unidentified Gelatinous Spheres

Posted on September 22, 2017 by scarywhitegirl

Divers and scientists are baffled by the appearance of large gelatinous spheres, up to a meter across, that have appeared in the ocean off the west coast of Norway, among other locations. Spotted in cold, northern locales and off the coast of Turkey, some have speculated that these could be eggs laid by giant squid of the genus Architeuthis. But giant squid rarely come near to shorelines, so it seems unlikely that they have begun coming nearer to land in order to lay their giant eggs.

Few divers have gotten photographs of this phenomenon, and no one has yet obtained a sample from one of these spheres. Scientists are hopeful that someone will obtain a sample soon, because at that point, they will be able to identify what these spheres are.

So if you happen to be diving off the coast of Norway in the near future, keep on the lookout for these unidentified gelatinous spheres. If you do get a sample, it should be placed in a plastic bag and frozen until you can get it to a scientist. But if you can’t get a sample, scientists will be happy to collect whatever data you have. To find out more about what they would like to know, check out this article!

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That Man Behind the Curtain: August 2017

Posted on September 21, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal
Dawn Vogel as Velma

Editor Dawn Vogel cosplaying as Velma Dinkley at Renton City Comic Con.

August was comparatively quiet, all told. Our big shipping extravaganza hadn’t happened yet, so the expenses are pretty low.

The Money Aspect

Amounts in parentheses are losses/expenses.
Hosting: (-$17.06)
Stories: (-$290.00)
Art: (-$562.63)
Advertising: (-$87.02)
Processing Fees: (-$34.96)
Printing: (-$154.62)
Donations: $310.96
Ad Revenue: $0.32
Online Book Sales: $26.31

Total: (-$808.70)
QTD: (-$2,417.57)
YTD: (-$2,903.87)
All Time: (-$22,924.10)

As usual, I try to list costs for art and stories under the month that the stories run on the site rather than when I pay them. (This does not apply to special content for quarterlies, which does not have a specific month associated with it.) Sales are for sales when they take place, not when they’re actually paid out to me. Online book sales reflect the royalties given after the retailer takes their cut. Physical book sales represent gross income, not counting the cost of the physical book.

This month’s main expense was final cover art cost for both Utter Fabrication and Autumn 2017.

The donations amount is a little weird. We have, historically, had an unspoken policy to sell extra copies of books to contributors at cost. Starting with Utter Fabrication, we have made it a spoken policy to the contributors. And several of the contributors were interested in it. Especially with Utter Fabrication. Historically, when it has happened, we just noted it on this post as a donation. It didn’t feel right to squeeze it in anywhere else. Arguably it could be considered an offset against our printing costs, but that feels less transparent. Especially since payment and delivery are in separate months.

Our trivial amount of advertising revenue has returned to its previous trivial amount.

Submissions

We were closed to submissions in August. Our all time acceptance rate remains 38.6%.

Followers

At the end of July, we had:

Facebook: 1,669 (+29)

Twitter: 548 (+6)

Google+: 63 (-1)

Tumblr: 233 (+3)

Mailing List: 76 (+0)

Patreon: 16 (+1)

Traffic

I’ve found it can be hard to tell how we’re doing overall based off of just a snapshot of traffic, so I thought I’d offer a little bit more data.

Here are the last three months:

August 2017: 965 visits, 762 users, 1,581 page views, peak day of 47 visits.
July 2017: 1,216 visits, 914 users, 2,210 page views, peak day of 120 visits.
June 2017: 1,423 visits, 958 users, 2,808 page views, peak day of 112 visits.

Last three Augusts:

August 2016: 809 visits, 587 users, 1,318 page views, peak day of 55 visits.
August 2015: 951 visits, 633 users, 1,793 page views, peak day of 50 visits.
August 2014: 1,106 visits, 727 users, 2,232 page views, peak day of 95 visits.

It looks like in August 2014, we were open to submissions, which drives up traffic some. But August also appears to be a slump month for us.

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Review of Everfair by Nisi Shawl

Posted on September 20, 2017 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for EverfairEverfair (Tor Books, 2016) is the debut novel from acclaimed speculative fiction short-story author Nisi Shawl. The book is an interesting read that showcases Shawl’s background with short stories, as some chapters could be short stories unto themselves. But the narrative framework of the book, which is more about the country of Everfair than the characters, ties the disparate threads together. The genre is a sort of alternate history, steampunk-fantasy, combining elements of steampunk technology with magic, including the mystical substance that is used to power aircraft and other similar technology.

The country of Everfair is an African nation founded by individuals opposed to King Leopold’s stranglehold over the Congo and its resources. The founders include English members of the Fabian Society, American missionaries, Africans who have been enslaved by Leopold’s troops, and Chinese workers similarly forced to work in Africa. These groups put aside many of their differences in order to defeat Leopold’s troops and drive the Belgians from the Congo, clearing the path for them to establish their new nation.

The chapters run chronologically, covering a wide span of time from the origins of Everfair in the nineteenth century to the ending of World War I, but they follow different characters over time. Some characters are frequent point-of-view characters, while others have less of the spotlight on them. Similarly, some of the chapters are neatly contained story arcs, while others tie in more to the larger story of the history of Everfair.

As a historian, I found the structure of this novel much more like a history book than a traditional novel. As such, it’s not a quick read. I often read just a few chapters a night, needing to digest and consider the larger historical elements rather than charging through the story. Despite this, the book was fascinating, and I felt like the structure worked well for the story that Shawl wanted to tell.

 

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Now Available: Utter Fabrication

Posted on September 19, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal

Cover Art for Utter FabricationOur newest anthology is available for purchase today!

“It takes time for a space to become a place. I’d never quite pinned down at what point during the gradual accretion of events and memories that houses became more than the sum of their parts, but I’d put down enough supposed hauntings to have developed a feel for when a place had turned.”
– Evan Dicken, “Every House a Home”

No one understands strange places like people who have been there. Mad Scientist Journal has brought together twenty-two tales of people who have visited places both beautiful and horrifying. Some places heal, some places destroy, some places just want to see the world. Haunted houses share a neighborhood in these pages with dimensional rifts, hidden skyscrapers, and abandoned spacecraft.

Included in this collection are stories from Ali Abbas, Nyri Bakkalian, S. E. Casey, Julian Dexter, Evan Dicken, Carolyn A. Drake, Dorian Graves, Diana Hauer, Georgie Hinojosa, Michael M. Jones, Gwendolyn Kiste, M. Lopes da Silva, Christine Lucas, Audrey Mack, Lyndsie Manusos, Alanna McFall, Alexander Nachaj, Timothy Nakayama, Betty Rocksteady, Ian M. Smith, Kathryn Yelinek, and E. R. Zhang. Includes art by Ray McCaughey, Kristen Nyht, Scarlett O’Hairdye, and Luke Spooner.

Buy your copy at any of these fine book retailers:

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The Origins of Chem-Art: A Look into the Manifestation of Final Blush of the Republic

Posted on September 18, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal

Article written by Casvar Quivian, as provided by Sam Jowett
Art by Luke Spooner

Introduction

Call this a tell-all, call this an indictment.

For myself, it is a revelation.

This will be my final paper on Final Blush of the Republic. There’s no doubt some of you are gasping with relief at the reading of those words, but it’s only for the sole reason that there will cease to be the need for any further papers. Even that ghoul Temyren from the History Department is waving in the white flag after I’m finished, which is truly the real blessing. Regardless, the debate ends here.

Orin Sydan’s work of Final Blush of the Republic can be considered nothing short of a masterpiece. Composed brilliantly in the final days of the Cantarin Democratic Electorate of Niser, it is more than the tipping point of the political turmoil that had encompassed the State at that time, it’s the abolishment of that tumour of faux democracy that we had been subject to live in for the last two centuries.

The composition occurred on the 30th of June 2527, at approximately 3:12 in the afternoon. Given the unpredictable nature of its subjects, many–truly it is embarrassing that Temyren’s “paper” on the subject even got him tenure–attribute Sydan’s composition to pure luck. To do so, I insist, would be a mistake, as they miss the essential preparations Sydan endured for what is estimated to be over two years, before composing the work.

Can Temyren truly dismiss it as luck that Final Blush of the Republic was composed in the formal Executive House of the Cantarin Political Party? Was it luck that the fifteen subjects included most of the essential government characters of that term? Was it luck that the colours remained thick and all encompassing throughout the piece? None of the ultramarine blue that represented the Cantarin Elect remained; replacing them were vivid shades of coral, pink, vermillion, and scarlet. I could perhaps entertain a grain of serendipity to the proceedings, but credit ought to go where credit is due, and by all accounts, Sydan is a genius.

Art for "The Origins of Chem-Art A Look into the Manifestation of Final Blush of the Republic"

Then, detonation.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.

Casvar Quivian is an associate professor in the Critical Art studies department at Niser University. He has published several papers on the emergence and cultural relevance of Chem-Art, hoping to end its stigmatization and promote a sort of “open-mindedness” on the subject. This has led to more than a few heated debates with other members of faculty, a few of which leading to physical altercations, one of which includes a notorious charge of assault involving a Holo-board. The official position of Niser University is to remain neutral in the debate, but to encourage a plurality of opinions and conflict resolutions on the subject.

Sam Jowett currently lives and studies law in Toronto, Ontario. While he should perhaps focus on writing more “academic things,” he can’t help but procrastinate and write “fiction things” instead. You can find his stories at Fickle Muses and Storyshack.

Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.

“The Origins of Chem-Art: A Look into the Manifestation of ‘Final Blush of the Republic'” is © 2017 Sam Jowett
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Luke Spooner

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Strange Science: Maillardet’s Automaton

Posted on September 15, 2017 by scarywhitegirl

Daderot, Public domain (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Henri_Maillardet_automaton,_London,_England,_c._1810_-_Franklin_Institute_-_DSC06656.jpg)

In the early nineteenth century, a Swiss mechanician built an automaton that could write poetry and draw pictures. Granted, the poetry and pictures it could draw were pre-programmed, but the memory involved in the machine is the equivalent of slight more than one-third of a megabyte–not bad for a 200-plus year old machine!

Henri Maillardet was the inventor, and the machine is known as Maillardet’s Automaton, Maillardet’s Draughtsman-Writer, or Maelzel’s Juvenile Artist. Two of the three poems it could produce were in French, while the third was in English, and the images it drew included two versions of Cupid, a ship, and a Chinese temple.

In 1928, Maillardet’s Automaton was delivered to the Franklin Institute. The machine was in pieces and had been damaged in a fire, but they managed to restore it to its original functionality. It required additional work in 2007. But the Franklin Institute still holds this piece, and even runs it a few times a year. You can watch it at work in this video.

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Review of Queen of Swords by R. S. Belcher

Posted on September 13, 2017 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for Queen of SwordsA review by Dusty Wallace

Queen of Swords is the third book in R. S. Belcher’s Golgotha series, and none of it takes place in Golgotha. For fans of that bizarre little frontier town in Nevada, that’s sort of a letdown. But it also means new readers of the series can jump right in without getting lost. And they should. It’s quite the adventure.

Maude Stapleton made her first appearance in Belcher’s debut novel, The Six-Gun Tarot, where we learned that she was far more than a housewife and mother. Her preternatural physical skills included extensive martial arts training, a dash of mysticism, and the ability to control her body’s internal functions. She used these skills to help stop an apocalyptic event from erupting underneath Golgotha, an evil from the birth of the universe, locked up by God himself and guarded by an angel.

In Queen of Swords, we go in-depth with Maude Stapleton, discovering not only how she got her powers, but how her great-great-great-great grandmother and mentor, Anne Bonny, turned from ne’er-do-well pirate queen to a distributor of swift and violent justice.

The novel takes place in two time periods. Half of it follows Anne Bonny on a trip to an ancient hidden city in the Sahara in the early 18th century. The rest of the story is post-Civil War and sees Maude travel from Charleston, South Carolina, to that selfsame city in Africa.

For the most part, Queen of Swords is a swashbuckler with a light peppering of eldritch horror. There is, however, a fair amount of legal drama in the first half of the novel. I was surprised, since it’s not a staple of Belcher’s work, but he clearly did his homework. Most of it revolves around the legal rights of widows and will please feminist readers and John Grisham fans alike.

There’s only a little romance in the novel, but there are times when it gets sugary sweet. Mostly this revolves around family reconciliation, which is one of the novel’s main themes. For me, though, it was laid on a little thick. I found myself racing through I love you and sorry for everything just to get back to the ass kicking.

Belcher’s prose has only gotten better since his debut. This is his fifth novel and reading them in order has revealed his growth as an author and weaver of plot. I highly anticipate what comes next for the citizens of Golgotha and the pirate progeny Maude Stapleton.

Dusty Wallace lives in the Appalachians of Virginia with his wife and two sons. He enjoys reading, writing, and the occasional fine cigar. Find him on Twitter: @CosmicDustMite

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The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day

Posted on September 11, 2017 by Mad Scientist Journal

From the desk of Doctor Gracie McMillian
Doctor of Psychological Operations, Germ Warfare, Cloning, and Floral Arranging: Schrodinger–Milgram Research Laboratory

As provided by Allison Spector
Art by Justine McGreevy

TO:  Dr. Olivia Carter; Dr. James Peterson; Dr. Wanda Hickenlooper; Mr. & Mrs. Lilith Stein; Chief Inspector Patricia Jordan; Mr. Waggles the Sentient Canine; Experiments 313 (Ted), 345 (Sven), 932 (Annie)

RE: The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day

 

My Esteemed Colleagues;

As you are well aware, the annual workplace parent-offspring bonding ritual that took place last week did not go according to expectation. I am writing to you, my intimate group of trusted colleagues and lab subjects, to provide formal guidance as to how we will handle the bothersome stream of questions now coming from several unwelcome sources, including both the mainstream media and myriad ecclesiastical inquisitors.

Although many of you have already left town, or had your likenesses surgically altered, it has in no way deterred me from tracking down the hovels in which you now snivel and cower. You are known to me, and easily traceable through the unique signature of germs that you leave behind upon your every exhalation. Experiment 345–I know you once thought you could elude me through your most inconsiderate lack of breathing, which is why I made you chemically dependent upon the bouquet of peonies that I send you every fortnight. You must be aware of this, which is why you are the only witness to the events of last week who has kindly left me a forwarding address. Your life shall be your reward for your obedience.

As for the rest of you trembling pustules, you shall immediately return to The Sanctuary of the Doom Prophets (the senior faculty lounge or the 2nd floor) and submit yourself to rigorous confession regarding your role in decanting 5.4 dozen unconditioned clones, dressing them as our colleagues’ children, and releasing them throughout the building in an attempt to have the child-doubles murder the originals and infiltrate the inner-sanctums of the greatest scientific minds in all of Eastern Newark.

Art for "The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day"

… and submit yourself to rigorous confession regarding your role in decanting 5.4 dozen unconditioned clones …

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.

Gracie McMillian was a good girl from Bethesda, Maryland, whose preternatural control of statistical probability propelled her into an alternative dimension of crypto-scientific insanity (mad science). She is now a Doctor of Psychological Operations, Germ Warfare, Cloning, and Floral Arranging and holds a directorship at the Schrodinger–Milgram Research Laboratory in Newark, NJ (dimensional iteration 2,642,428,120).

Allison is a New Jersey ex-pat who lives for moments of beautiful whimsy. Their work has been featured in The Cost of Paper, Molotov Cocktail Magazine, & Five2One Magazine, among others. Allison is the author of Let’s Stalk Rex Jupiter! Check out their work at allisonspector.com.

Justine McGreevy is a slowly recovering perfectionist, writer, and artist. She creates realities to make our own seem slightly less terrifying. Her work can be viewed at http://www.behance.net/Fickle_Muse and you can follow her on Twitter @Fickle_Muse.

“The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day” is © 2017 Allison Spector
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Justine McGreevy

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