That Man Behind the Curtain: February 2018

Posted on March 29, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal
Amanda Cherry at Rites & Desires Launch

Editorial Assistant Amanda Cherry at the launch for her debut novel.

February was our Kickstarter, yet another exhausting wild ride. A lot of time (and ad funds) went towards this, and it’s reflected in a lot of our metrics. We also expanded to a new social media site to help build up more of an audience.

So let’s see how it looks in the wake of crowdfunding madness.

The Money Aspect

Amounts in parentheses are losses/expenses.
Web Resources: (-$292.06)
Stories: (-$95.00)
Art: (-$188.46)
Advertising: (-$479.05)
Processing Fees: (-$8.57)
Printing: (-$10.14)
Conventions: (-$50.00)
Donations: $45.71
Physical Sales: $14.00
Online Book Sales: $20.38

Total: (-$1,043.19)
QTD: (-$3,137.64)
YTD: (-$5,232.09)
All Time: (-$28,970.02)

As usual, I try to list costs for art and stories under the month that the stories run on the site rather than when I pay them. (This does not apply to special content for quarterlies, which does not have a specific month associated with it.) Sales are for sales when they take place, not when they’re actually paid out to me. Online book sales reflect the royalties given after the retailer takes their cut. Physical book sales represent gross income, not counting the cost of the physical book. Donations include Patreon as well as other money sent to us outside of standard sales.

Kickstarter funds didn’t clear until this month, so those will get summarized in next month’s report. The increased cost for web resources is due to us buying a six-month subscription to Moksha in order to handle the submissions for the new anthology. Last year we blew out our limit of submissions for Submittable and had to start taking submissions via email. It didn’t make financial sense to upgrade our Submittable account, we have gone with Moksha this year. Ironically, we’ve gotten less submissions so far.

Submissions

We were closed to submissions in February. Our all time acceptance rate is remains 37.9%.

Followers

Below is the social media following we had at the end of February. New for February is that we created an Instagram account. Because we have awesome artists who work with us, we thought it could be good to try posting there while also promoting our Kickstarter. We are still too small to get solid metrics on there, but we currently have 69 followers.

As seems typical for a Kickstarter campaign, we had a surge in followers. Facebook gets the bulk of our ad dollars, so that comes as no surprise. We did a better job of getting our Patreon in front of people with the Kickstarter tie-in reward, so that has been a nice bump. The one that seems most surprising is the mailing list. Up until recently we’d only gotten maybe one or two a month. Now we’ve gone up 20 in the last couple months.

Patreon: 20 (+7)

Facebook: 1,816 (+42)

Twitter: 578 (+4)

Tumblr: 294 (+8)

Mailing List: 108 (+12)

Google+: 63 (+0)

Instagram: 69 (+69)

Traffic

Last three months:

February 2018: 1,250 visits, 984 users, 2,134 page views, peak day of 70.
January 2018: 1,650 visits, 1,251 users, 2,534 page views, peak day of 73.
December 2017: 1,441 visits, 1,077 users, 2,419 page views, peak day of 84.

Last three Februarys:

February 2017: 908 visits, 724 users, 1,599 pages views, peak day of 154 visits.
February 2016: 1,798 visits, 1,209 users, 2,647 page views, peak day of 133 visits.
February 2015: 1,777 visits, 1,110 users, 3,309 page views, peak day of 95 visits.

Traffic was down a surprising amount last month, considering that we had a Kickstarter campaign running. Normally this results in a spike in traffic, but both this year and last year saw a drop in traffic for February. Not sure if our advertising campaign diverted people away from other resources we had on our site or if there was some other influence.

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Review of The Bathwater Conspiracy by Janet Kellough

Posted on March 28, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for The Bathwater ConspiracyWhat would the world look like without men? Janet Kellough’s latest book, The Bathwater Conspiracy (EDGE Science Fiction and Fantasy Publishing, 2017), explores that question in the context of a speculative fiction mystery.

Set at some indefinite point in the future, men have been eradicated as a result of a virus. There are still small stores of their genetic material, which prevents the human race from going extinct. But many crimes are things of the past, which is why Detective Carson MacHenry is so baffled by a recent murder and brutalization of the body. Though her superior tells her to leave the case alone, “Mac” can’t help but continue to investigate, and her investigation leads her from her home city to the wasteland outside and a sleepy town nearby in the course of uncovering a long-hidden secret.

The book tosses you into the investigation from page 1, slowing only briefly to bring the reader up to speed on the world once you’re already embroiled in it. The setting and characters are very compelling, and serve to make the entire book a great read. If you love mysteries and speculative fiction mashed together, you’ll likely enjoy The Bathwater Conspiracy.

It should be noted that the book does feature off-screen sexual assault and brief descriptions of the brutalized murder victim. Though the topic is handled in a respectful fashion, it may dissuade some readers from this book.

The publisher provided us with a free copy of this novel in exchange for review consideration.

 

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Now Available! Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018

Posted on March 27, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

Cover Art for Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018Cooking advice, previously undiscovered species, and tortured artists. These are but some of the strange tales to be found in this book.

Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 collects thirteen tales from the fictional worlds of mad science. For the discerning mad scientist reader, there are also pieces of fiction from Mandi Jourdan, Michael McGlade, and Jo Miles. Readers will also find other resources for the budding mad scientist, including an advice column, gossip column, and other brief messages from mad scientists.

Authors featured in this volume also include Amanda Cherry, E. B. Fischadler, Carrie Cuinn, Iris Wright, Stuart Webb, Chrissa Gerard, Sarena Ulibarri, Nathan Crowder, Xariffa Suarez, Nicholas Morrish, Andy Brown, Holly Schofield, Katherine Cowley, Aaron Heil, Christoper Vander Kaay, Eve Taft, Joachim Heijndermans, Jonathan Ficke, Leslie Soule, Trevin Maerten, Lucinda Gunnin, and Torrey Podmajersky. Art by Luke Spooner, Ariel Alian Wilson, Shannon Legler, Scarlett O’Hairdye, Justine McGreevy, Dawn Vogel, Amanda Jones, and Liz Argall.

 

Available at the following locations:

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A Sunny Day on the Ziggurat

Posted on March 26, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

An essay by Elize Pentra, as provided by Joachim Heijndermans
Art by Luke Spooner

Day 5 – Gyunsoth – Olli/Ka/1678

Hey. It’s me. I’m writing to you in this journal I found on the ship. I missed talking to you, so I figured this was the next best thing. Not much point to it, since we’ll be talking again as soon as you come out of the chamber. But I just wanted to say some things to you. You know, to fight off the loneliness. Talking to myself got to be so tedious after a while. Maybe I’ll even let you read this, once you come out.

Well, first things first: the weather. It’s beautiful out here. It feels amazing to wake up to that crisp fresh air smell every morning, with the light dew tickling your skin. You didn’t get to experience it after we crashed, but I’m certain you would really love it. The view is brilliant too. Each time I see it, it just takes my breath away. There’s not a day where the sun rises in the same color. You’d probably tell me it’s all because of light passing through water particles or something crazy sciency, but I’d like to think the sun changes color each morning as to surprise me. Isn’t that a cool idea? Something that just wants to be beautiful and make each day special just for you?

If I’m rambling, I’m sorry. But you’d be rambling too after four days by yourself with no-one to talk to but the Kitters and the Lobsters clinging to the side of the Ziggurat. At least the Kitters respond with a high-pitched yelp when I yell at them. I’m not feeding them like you asked, but that doesn’t stop them from following me everywhere I go.

So yeah, anyway, that’s why I’m starting this on the 5th day, so as to avoid any confusion about missing entries or anything. So, In summary, first entry; day five. Jeez, it’s only been five days since you went in, and I’m already losing my marbles from not talking to you. I’m not sure you’ll even be reading this at all once you come out, as we might be too busy with other stuff instead. Guess it doesn’t matter. It’s just so I’ll have something to do other than to twiddle my thumbs and pace around the place.

That’s all I got for now. Just spend the day watching the sun rise and set, cleaning the gun, checking the cores, and getting rid of the Lobsters every now and then. I’ll write more when something happens.

Sleep tight.

-Elize

~

Day 6 – Gyunsoth – Olli/Ka/1678

So, today was quiet. Again. Although I thought I spotted something in the morning, flying past the sun (it was blue mixed with tangerine orange this time, in case you were wondering). It wasn’t a ship, that’s for sure. I would’ve known if it was. Whatever this thing was, it was quiet and slow and didn’t leave a trail of dark smoke behind it. I’ll try and get a better diagnostic on it, should I see it again.

Anyhow, like I said, nothing going on today. Cleaned the gun, checked the cores, and got rid of a few more Lobsters. They’re persistent little creeps, aren’t they? I hope I have more exciting stuff to write about tomorrow.

Sleep tight.

-Elize

~

Day 7 – Gyunsoth – Olli/Ka/1678

Same old story. The sun was a mix of lavender and violet, with some red speckles here and there. Other than that, cleaned the gun, checked the cores, and got rid of the Lobsters. There were a few more.

Kitters today, but they didn’t bother me all that much.

I miss hearing your singing. When you come out, I’ve got to make you sing for me again. I like that once song you always did for me. The one you said was an Earth song? I don’t remember what it was called, but it has the line about the swimming dolphins and the kiss by the wall. I still don’t believe you about it being an Earth song. Back at home, we never sang. We just hunted and plowed what was left of the land. So not buying that one, Mr. Smartypants the quote machine, even if the song was written in Lang-one words.

Anyway, that’s all for now. No signs of anything on the horizon, so all is good here.

Sleep tight.

-Elize

~

Day 8 – Gyunsoth – Olli/Ka/1678

There was a scream from the jungle. I’m sure of it. And it wasn’t any Kitter scream or a Lobster boiling (yes, you already told me that was just steam coming from their shells, so shush you), so I know there’s something out there.

Checked the horizon and the sky for both the thing I saw the other day and them, just in case. No traces of any vessels. I covered the wreck with some more branches and foliage just to be on the safe side. I doubt that a patrol ship will see it, so I’ll be plenty safe. But if there’s something out there in the jungle, then I’m gonna have to get ready for that.

I hope you don’t mind, but I took some books from your library. None of the old ones, I swear. Just the ones that tell you how to lay traps. (But seriously, we need to have a talk on why you have that once you get out. Going on the list!) I’ve put a bunch around, mostly around places I don’t have time to keep an eye on, and where the Lobsters don’t go, so they don’t set them off by accident.

Well, that was most of my day, other than cleaning the gun and checking the cores. Didn’t have the time to clear the Ziggurat of Lobsters today, so I’ll get on that tomorrow. In the meantime, I hope you have pleasant dreams in there. I miss you.

Sleep tight.

-Elize

Art for "A Sunny Day On The Ziggurat"

Today I woke up in the dark. Something blotted out the sun. Nearly crapped myself, running out of the tent, hands grasped around the gun like some wacky paratrooper.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2018 collection.

Elize Pentra is a decorated veteran of the Illium/Oligarchy war, achieving the rank of Falconeye in Barra/Ka/1670. She is a native of the outer rim world “Earth,” living on Houdom until deserting her post in Zuda/Ka/1674, after which her whereabouts became unknown to the Illium records. She is believed to act as a mercenary or servant to wanted criminal #1967-VRI, and is to be treated as an accomplice to terrorism until proven innocent by decree of the Illium. Approach with extreme caution.

Joachim Heijndermans writes, draws, and paints nearly every waking hour. Originally from the Netherlands, he’s been all over the world, boring people by spouting random trivia. His work has been featured in a number of publications, such as Every Day Fiction, Asymmetry Fiction, and Gathering Storm Magazine, and he’s currently in the midst of completing his first children’s book. You can check out his other work at www.joachimheijndermans.com, or follow him on Twitter: @jheijndermans.

Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.

“A Sunny Day on the Ziggurat” is Copyright 2017 Joachim Heijndermans
Art accompanying story is Copyright 2017 Luke Spooner

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Strange Science: Tardigrades

Posted on March 23, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Tardigrades, aka water bears or moss piglets, have experienced a recent upsurge in popularity. They’re tiny little critters (only about 0.5 millimeters, or 0.02 inches), and scientists have known about them since the eighteenth century. But despite scientists studying them for hundreds of years, there’s plenty we are still learning about tardigrades.

For example, in 2016, Japanese scientists cracked some of the secrets as to why tardigrades are virtually indestructible. And earlier this month, another Japanese scientist located another species of tardigrade in water in a parking lot.

If you’re interested in learning more about these unusual creatures, check out this article for more fun facts about tardigrades!

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Interview with Scott Gable of Broken Eye Books

Posted on March 21, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for Welcome to Miskatonic UniversityBroken Eye Books is currently running a Kickstarter for Welcome to Miskatonic University, which we mentioned last week as part of our alumni news post, and today we’re talking with Scott Gable about the anthology and more!

Dawn Vogel: Tell us a little about Broken Eye Books and what you do.

Scott Gable: I run the indie press Broken Eye Books out of Seattle. We’ve been going for eight wonderful years, publishing the odd, strange, and offbeat side of speculative fiction. We love to blend genres and blur the boundaries of science fiction, fantasy, and the weird.

Our goal is simply to publish the stories we want to read, and they’re often a little different and not easily categorized.

DV: There are a lot of books and anthologies set in the Miskatonic Valley. What made you decide to use Miskatonic University as the setting for this anthology?

SG: Miskatonic University just has so much potential for diverse storytelling. Having the university as the focal point forces a certain human component. Tales of the weird are often focused on the individual journey, on a more internal, personal struggle of dread. But with a permanent and recurring urban locale, such as MU, you get to see more of the interpersonal drama—in addition to having to clash with the unknown. You get more of the everyday worries and struggles, the friendships and celebrations, all in contrast with the cosmic weirdness always probing at the edges of reality. You have to deal with the ramifications of life in this active, changing, and cosmopolitan community that is constantly searching for the unknown and trying to uncover the secrets of the world. It’s wide open for both tales of magic and tales of weird science—and even both at the same time—of supernatural monsters, of aliens, of unsolved murder investigations, of ancient mysteries, of coming of age moments, of a giant, overstuffed library filled with only the oddest of tomes. What happens when you mix lots of people from different backgrounds together in the same place with the occult and weird science in the modern world? We wanted to find out.

DV: The Kickstarter’s funding goal is for one anthology, Welcome to Miskatonic University, but there’s a stretch goal for a second anthology, It Came from Miskatonic University. What’s the dividing line between the stories in each of the anthologies?

SG: When we started, we had asked authors to write their interpretation of this modern, strange university, and as we were devouring the slush, we noticed that there was a certain range of weird fiction: at the one end lies the “normal world” in setting and mood, upon which strange things happen, while at the other end we see that weird fiction start to blend with fantasy and science fiction (not so unlike the works of Clark Ashton Smith). This was fascinating to us and presented a great opportunity to more deeply explore weird fiction’s relationship with other genres, so we split the project into two anthologies—the first consisting of the fantastically weird and the latter of the weirdly fantastic.

The first, Welcome to Miskatonic University, represents the first half of that spectrum. These tales present our world at their core—relatively normal people in a relatively normal world—and confront it with the unknown, and we get to see what happens. They are tightly anchored to our reality, to what we now. In the second, It Came from Miskatonic University, the setting and mood shift slightly as some of the barriers to that unknown are stripped away. So either the main character (or the whole setting) already knows some of the secrets to the unknown or the protagonist is themself part of the “unknown,” being a part of that secret world—whether a Deep One trying to save her human girlfriend or a powerful sorcerer on a mission—and thereby becoming a direct window to that unknown for the reader. These are the narratives where weird fiction blends with fantasy and science fiction. When the unknown has been revealed, accepted, and possibly even incorporated into the setting, we are flitting across weird fiction’s borders with other speculative fiction. It’s almost as if you’ve been learning a thing or two during your stay at MU.

DV: The My Miskatonic stretch goal is also interesting. Tell us more about that book!

SG: We wanted to flesh out this shared setting a bit, giving the university and the town of Arkham some structure and personality separate from the stories, and also to breathe some humanity into it. So backers have the option of contributing their likeness to My Miskatonic, to be illustrated by artist Yves Tourigny, as a kind of Who’s Who of this strange valley. We’ll turn those backers into characters of the setting with their own portrait and fictionalized bio! And if we hit the stretch goals, we’ll be able to start detailing the town and university itself, creating a guidebook for of this region where the strange and mundane so freely mingle.

DV: Do you have ideas for future anthologies in the works? Will you do more Lovecraftian anthologies, or do you plan to go in a different direction?

SG: Always! So many ideas. But I think this will be our last anthology of the Cthulhu Mythos—at least for a while. This is our third in a row of the Mythos (starting with Tomorrow’s Cthulhu and then Ride the Star Wind). We’ve been able to explore this shared setting in a modern context and hopefully expand its borders a bit. We’ve got several original novellas and novels on the way. But you can be sure we’ll be back with another anthology (and accompanying open call). They have a special place in our hearts. And you can stay up to date by subscribing to our newsletter.

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Reproductive Strategy in a New Giant Carnivorous Ostracod

Posted on March 19, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

Essays by Professor Tiberius Earwig Ph.D., FGS, as provided by Rebecca Siân Pyne
Art by Errow Collins

Dear Sir/Madam,

Specimen 16-001-TB/3 continues to amaze me. She has now grown to ten feet (three meters) and has a taste for choir boys. Ever since Igor lost a hand, my personal assistant has been wary of getting too close. Despite increasing his weekly salary to fifteen pounds, he refuses to go near the aquarium room.

In my last letter, I mentioned my dearly departed friend and mentor, Dr Frankenstein III, may he rest in pieces. Viktor said that Igor was the worst construct ever to come from his laboratory and offered me a free replacement, but by then I had grown accustomed to my malodorous minion. His final written warning would be more of a worry for him if he had ever learned to read. In putting him together, Viktor had the misfortune to select an illiterate’s brain.

My new assistant is a pretty girl with a first-class mind, good survival instincts, and an uncle in Her Majesty’s Asylum for Criminally Insane Academics.

There has been an interesting development in the question of 16-001-TB/3’s gender. Unlike many species in the genus Cythereis, Vampyrocythereis infernalis (Earwig, Pyne, Radchenko & Jones, 2016) is not two-sexed (dioecious). Males simply do not exist, all representatives being female. Although asexual reproduction is relatively common in non-marine ostracods, it is rarer in their marine counterparts. On reflection, this is a more efficient strategy for the deep sea.

On the seventh of June, Miranda produced twenty-seven offspring. The young share their mother’s appetite for live flesh. Considering this is a deep-sea species, they grow quickly and have already passed through two molts. I do not think there will be any instances of inter-sibling cannibalism, as long as the food supply does not dry up. For some unfathomable reason, travelling salespersons no longer call at my house, and choir boys are few and far between. The newsagents no longer deliver, and Igor has to go out to buy my paper.

Myfanwy’s diligence and strong stomach will help her succeed in the competitive world of applied ostracodology. She shares my fascination with the new life brought into the world and is currently engaged in training experiments. The hatchlings can now navigate a maze, with evidence of long term memory. Their cognitive abilities are more vertebrate than crustacean, but since they ate my white mice, we will be unable to run comparative tests. They seem to have developed a special affinity for her. Some might call me jealous of their affection, but I am not offended. Their mother will always be my favorite.

She sings to me at night now, a strange melodious song, which entirely banished my insomnia.

Last night, I woke up in the tank room with no idea how I came to be there, a curious cloud fogging my mind until chased away by a restorative triple whisky.

A more cautious scientist might suspect that sinister motives lay behind Miranda’s song.

So many questions remain to be answered, but I am prepared to take the risk.

I remain, as ever, yours in Science,

Professor Tiberius Earwig

Art for "Reproductive Strategy in a New Giant Carnivorous Ostracod"

She sings to me at night now, a strange melodious song, which entirely banished my insomnia.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2018 collection.

Professor Tiberius Earwig, BSc (Bristol), MSc (Aberystwyth), PhD (Cambridge), is an internationally recognized authority on fossil and recent Ostracoda, with two hundred papers in The Journal of Micropalaeontology, Revista Española de Micropaleontología, Proceedings of the Ussher Society, Deep Sea Biology, Applied Biology and Musicology, and others. After a brief sabbatical at Her Majesty’s Asylum for Criminally Insane Academics, he retired to Whitby, but continues research. Professor Earwig is a member of Anti-Cites, an exclusive dining club which puts the world’s rarest species on the menu. Other interests include Elizabethan Madrigal singing. He writes Shakespearean sonnets and evil haiku.

Dr Rebecca Siân Pyne is a writer, researcher (and mental health first-aider), now based in West Wales, via Cardiff University and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology, Zurich. She has a PhD in Micropalaeontology, specializing in British Upper Cretaceous ostracods, with published research in Revista Española de Micropaleontología and Palaeogeography, Palaeoclimatology, Palaeoecology. Short stories have appeared in Bête Noire, Macabre Cadaver, Bards and Sages Quarterly, Albedo One, Aurora Wolf, Eschatology, Neo-Opsis, and others. Research assistants include a mad sprollie (springer spaniel x collie) who ensures there is no time for writer’s block.

Errow is a comic artist and illustrator with a predilection towards the surreal and the familiar. She pays her time to developing worlds not quite like our own with her artist fiancee and pushing the queer agenda. She probably left a candle burning somewhere. More of her work can be found at errowcollins.wix.com/portfolio.

“Reproductive Strategy in a New Giant Carnivorous Ostracod” is © 2017 Rebecca Siân Pyne
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Errow Collins

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Strange Science: The Machinations of Dolphins

Posted on March 16, 2018 by scarywhitegirl
Dolphin

claudia14 (https://pixabay.com/fr/dauphin-mammif%C3%A8res-marins-l-eau-mer-203875/)

It’s well known that dolphins are quite intelligent, but did you know that they have been known to show forethought, an understanding of delayed gratification, and even planning?

In 1993, a dolphin at the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies in Mississippi named Kelly learned that bringing litter to her keepers would earn her fish. So she started saving the litter, tearing off small pieces, and exchanging them for fish, since she was given the same number of fish whether the piece of litter was small or large.

The dolphins were also rewarded for bringing seagulls to their keepers. The dolphin in question started saving the fish that she earned for bringing litter to the keepers, and then used those fish to lure in seagulls, reaping a larger reward when she brought the seagull to her keepers.

As a followup, Brian Kinzel, a friend to MSJ, contacted the director at the Institute for Marine Mammal Studies, who informed him that Kelly is still alive and well today, though she is no longer in captivity. Kelly the dolphin currently resides in the Bahamas and is in her 40s!

If it weren’t for the fact that they’re kinda cute, they might be downright terrifying. But we, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords.

You can read more about these dolphins and their tricks at The Guardian (though the article is from 2003) and in National Geographic Kids Chapters: My Best Friend is a Dolphin.

 

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Kickstarters Featuring MSJ Alumni, Other Short Stories, Literary Magazine, and Reading

Posted on March 14, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

This week, we’re sharing some Kickstarters featuring Mad Scientist Journal alumni and other publishing news from our alumni!

Cover art for Welcome to Miskatonic UniversityThe Welcome to Miskatonic University Kickstarter by Broken Eye Books will feature stories from MSJ alum Gwendolyn Kiste and MSJ co-editor Dawn Vogel! Gwendolyn’s story will be in the primary anthology that this Kickstarter is funding, while Dawn’s is slated for the stretch goal second anthology, It Came From Miskatonic University! We hope to share more about this Kickstarter soon! Their funding period ends April 2, so be sure to check them out and become a backer if this anthology is of interest!

Atthis Arts is publishing an anthology called As Told by Things, which will be a collection of stories told by objects. Four of our MSJ alumni already have stories accepted for this anthology, which closes to submissions today. In this anthology, you’ll find stories by Robert Dawson, Evan Dicken, Alanna McFall, and Holly Schofield! The Kickstarter for this anthology wraps up on March 29th, and you can check it out here!

Finally, Azure Keep is funding their anthology, Tales of Ruma, a collection of stories inspired by Greek and Roman mythology, on Kickstarter, and MSJ alum Jonathan Ficke has a story in this anthology! This one only runs until March 19th, so check out Tales of Ruma here!

Jonathan Ficke has other fantastic news–one of his stories was selected as the third place story in a recent quarter for Writers of the Future! You’ll be able to read his story when volume 34 of the Writers of the Future series is published (in about a month).

Authors Candida Spillard and Liam Hogan have stories in Steampunk Universe, edited by Sarah Hans, and featuring diverse characters who are disabled or neurotypical.

Holly Schofield has a story called “Home on the Range” in the January/February 2018 issue of Analog magazine. You can read more about it on her blog!

Calvin Demmer has a story called “Keep the Beat” in Horror Addicts’ anthology, Crescendo of Darkness.

Frequent MSJ contributor Maureen Bowden has a story called “Christina of the Feathers” in Freeze Frame Fiction‘s inaugural issue, which also features art by MSJ artist Luke Spooner!

MSJ alum Iris Wright has launched an online literary magazine called Orris Root that focuses on the intersections between science and art. You can learn more about it (and submit stories) at the Orris Root website.

Finally, if you’re in the Seattle area, the entire editorial staff of MSJ (Jeremy, Dawn, and Amanda) and two of our alumni, Erik Scott de Bie and Nathan Crowder, will be reading from their Cobalt City stories at Friday Afternoon Tea on Thursday, March 22nd, from 6-8 p.m.! You can find out more about this here!

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Concerning Your Recent Creation of Sentient Horse-things on the Next Planet Over

Posted on March 12, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

E-mails between Dr Henrietta Higglebottem and Dr Hsieng “Jack” Xao, forwarded by Dr Higglebottem to Stewart C Baker
Art by Liz Argall

Dear Dr. Higglebottem,

The board has received troubling reports from a group of hyper-dolphins about your recent activities on Tau Ceti f.

These reports claim:

  1. that you have created sentient horse-things;
  2. that said horse-things have created a society wherein success is measured by the amount of hay stockpiled and consumed;
  3. that said horse-things have razed forests, drained swamps, re-routed rivers, and otherwise wrecked the planet’s eco-system in order to grow as much hay as possible;
  4. that said horse-things have, additionally, instilled a species of small dog-things with high intelligence but no free will (in direct disregard of the Academy’s charter, which flatly disallows the creation of intelligent beings for the sole purpose of servitude); and
  5. that said dog-things have begun work on interstellar travel for said horse-things.

We would like to remind you that all upliftings need to be cleared for safety and sociability before any work can begin. (Remember Dr. White’s planet-eating mega-whales? We’re still paying that one off.)

We have not received any paperwork from you, which I’m sure is an oversight, so I have attached the requisite forms to this netsend. Please fill them out and return them–along with clarifications regarding the horse-things–at your earliest convenience.

Yours with respect and tradition,

Dr. Hsieng “Jack” Xao
Executive Chair, Administrative Board
Ancient Academy of the Right Honourable Uplifters

42 Brin St.
New New New London
Tau Ceti e

~

Jack,

I don’t appreciate your spies snooping on me, and I must confess I’m surprised to hear you compare me to the infamous Dr. White.

Did what we had together really mean that little to you? Even now, I sometimes think fondly on the time we used to spend in the orchard behind the academy, listening to bird-song and each other’s whispered promises. But I suppose all you ever really wanted was the executive chairship.

Anyway, I’ve attached the forms here.

Yours,

Henrietta

(P.S. My creations call themselves “Equans” and “Lupans,” respectively. Please do not belittle them with your “horse-things” stuff.)

(P.P.S. How is the orchard these days?)

Art for "Concerning your Recent Creation of Sentient Horse-things on the Next Planet Over"

P.S. My creations call themselves “Equans” and “Lupans,” respectively. Please do not belittle them with your “horse-things” stuff.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2018 collection.

Henrietta Higglebottem is a peripatetic uplifter and free spirit. She enjoys short walks on long beaches, hilarious and unlikely anthropomorphizations, apple fritters, and TERRIBLE BLOODY REVENGE. Higglebottem has no fixed abode, but don’t worry–if she thinks you’re looking for her, she’ll find you, one way or another.

Stewart C Baker is an academic librarian, speculative fiction writer, and occasional haikuist. His fiction has appeared in Writers of the Future, Nature, and Flash Fiction Online, among other places. Stewart was born in England, has lived in South Carolina, Japan, and California (in that order), and currently resides in Oregon with his family­­–although if anyone asks, he’ll say he’s from the Internet.

Liz Argall is a speculative fiction author and creator of the all ages webcomics series, Things Without Arms and Without Legs, a comic about creatures who are kind http://www.thingswithout.com/. She lives in Seattle, but her heart misses the big silly birds of Australia.

“Concerning Your Recent Creation of Sentient Horse-things on the Next Planet Over” is © 2015 Stewart C Baker
Art accompanying story is © 2017 Liz Argall

This story first appeared in Flash Fiction Online in August 2015.

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