Strange Science: Why Do Clowns Frighten Us?

Posted on June 22, 2018 by scarywhitegirl
Row of fake clowns

Bernard Spragg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/volvob12b/9101944483), Public domain

Many people experience coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. Did you know that there are a number of possible reasons for this phobia?

One theory is the “uncanny valley” effect, where something is identifiable as human, but with just a little something that isn’t quite right. This is also the reason why some folks are afraid of ventriloquist dummies and other realistic-looking but slightly off human-like faces.

Another theory is that they remind us of corpses, again with the not-quite-right, exaggerated appearance. A third theory involves the unpredictability of clowns.

In general, our fear of clowns seems to stem from the fact that they are human, but they don’t look or act like “normal” humans. And these oddities evoke a fear response in our brains.

To read more about coulrophobia, check out this article!

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Books from Mad Scientist Alumni

Posted on June 20, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for Hearts of TabatSeveral of our MSJ alumni have recently released books that may be of interest to our readers.

Cat Rambo has released the second book in her fantasy Tabat Quartet Series, Hearts of Tabat. Though this is the second book in the series, Cat says that you won’t need to have read the first book in order to enjoy this one, as either book serves as an introduction to the series.

Calvin Demmer has released a collection of short stories titled The Sea Was a Fair Master, which also includes an introduction by MSJ alum Gwendolyn Kiste. Though the stories are primarily horror, there are also some fantasy, crime, and science fiction mixed in. The collection includes “The Snakes or the Humans?”, which was published at MSJ in March 2017.

Chris Vander Kaay is one of the authors of a non-fiction book called Indie Science Fiction Cinema Today: Conversations with 21st Century Filmmakers.

Kevin Holton’s debut novel, At the Hands of Madness, was released by Severed Press this January. A psychic kaiju walks the Earth, and a team of misfits, lab accidents, and social rejects are the only ones able to keep it from destroying their city. And his newest novel, These Walls Don’t Talk, They Scream, is available now from HellBound Books. In this book, Charlotte moves back to her childhood home to learn about her past and reconnect with the presence living in the house’s walls. This being may not be the guardian angel she remembers.

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A Distant Honk

Posted on June 18, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

An essay by Zoe Torres, as provided by Holly Schofield
Art by Luke Spooner

The footprints were as big as my snowshoe, the narrow heel a crisp outline, the impression not more than a couple of hours old.

The tracks beelined from the forest edge right through my campsite, growing more erratic as they disappeared on the far side between dark spruce trees hunched under winter burdens. I shuddered, picturing the clown stumbling through last night’s snowy darkness: hands flapping in the cold, grinning fiercely, a low hoot escaping from winter-roughened lips. With my heavy down sleeping bag pulled over my head, I hadn’t heard a sound, relying on the campfire to keep away predators.

I plodded over to where the tracks entered the clearing, slush sticking to my snowshoes. The sun had risen above the mountaintops, warm for February, warmer than all previous weather records.

A clump of coarse orange hair clung to a hemlock twig, sodden with mud. The email from the game warden had been accurate–the clowns had left hibernation early, the earliest yet, the unusually high temperatures triggering abnormal metabolic changes.

The troupe’s cave would be much farther up the mountain. I pictured melting ice dripping off the cave ceiling, streaking their greasepaint as they lay curled around one another like rats in a nest. With blank expressions and creaking joints, they’d unfold themselves, straighten their faded blouses on their too-lean frames, and honk softly. Then, they’d burst forth from the cave, one after another after another after another after another, bewildered by the bright sunshine, wanting to sate their terrible hunger.

What could one biologist do? I’d soon finish my dissertation on the wild clowns’ shrinking range, but there could be no future in coulrology. Since my study had begun, frown lines had etched an oval around my mouth.

Art for "A Distant Honk"

A raven honked. I jumped and then made myself turn a deliberate circle, my overlapping tracks creating a daisy pattern in the snow. No wide white teeth gleamed, no broad half-moon eyes stared at me from the dim forest. The troupe should be far away, hunting until dawn.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 collection.

Biologist Zoe Torres pioneered feral clown habitat degradation studies and was a leader in the field throughout her short career. She is also posthumously remembered for her vast collection of coulrine scat. One of her thigh bones is preserved at the Smithsonian, and close examination of the many teeth marks thereon will reward keen observers.

Holly Schofield travels through time at the rate of one second per second, oscillating between the alternate realities of city and country life. She hopes to save the world through science fiction and homegrown heritage tomatoes. For more of her work, including free and clownless stories, visit hollyschofield.wordpress.com.

Luke Spooner, a.k.a. ‘Carrion House,’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree, he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales, his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy, or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility, as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at www.carrionhouse.com.

“A Distant Honk” is © 2016 Holly Schofield
Art accompanying story is © 2018 Luke Spooner

This story originally appeared in Clowns: The Unlikely Coulrophobia Remix and Little Blue Marble.

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Strange Science: Sonic Attacks?

Posted on June 15, 2018 by scarywhitegirl
Depiction of sound waves

mtmmonline (https://pixabay.com/illustrations/sonic-wave-modern-audio-sound-wave-459858/)

In 2016, U.S. diplomats in Cuba claimed to have been attacked with some sort of sonic weapon. And just recently, a U.S. employee in China made similar claims. However, scientists who study sound and its impacts doubt that these incidents were actually attacks, and further suggest that the effects on these people probably weren’t a result of sonics at all.

Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania published a study this past March that suggested that the diplomats “had balance and thinking problems, sleep disturbances and headaches, and that some had widespread injury to brain networks.” Other researchers, however, indicate a number of problems with this study.

First, the amount of acoustical energy to cause these sorts of symptoms would require a speaker the size of a building. Second, while an ultrasound attack is possible, it would be nearly impossible to create a handheld device to do so. Finally, a scientist who specializes in ultrasound suggests that a number of the reported symptoms may actually be a result of anxiety in people who believe themselves to be victims of such an attack.

Furthermore, there is evidence which suggests that these sonic “attacks” may not have actually been a planned or attempted attack, but rather that the sounds heard could have been the result of malfunctioning surveillance equipment. So while that still presents an alarming possibility, it seems less intentional.

To learn more about these “attacks” and the flaws in the University of Pennsylvania study, check out this article.

 

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Review of As Told by Things

Posted on June 13, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for As Told by ThingsAs Told by Things (Atthis Arts LLC, 2018), edited by E. D. E. Bell, is a collection of twenty-five stories told from the perspective of inanimate objects. The stories range in tone from humorous to dark, and all are short pieces that can easily be devoured in even a brief amount of time, making the book a quick read overall, and also perfect for those who like short doses of cleverly written stories.

Some of the stories are quite forthcoming with the object telling the story, while others make you tease it out of their language. The items themselves range from commonplace to rare, but all of the stories treat the objects as important. Two stories dealing with common items in a touching and poignant way are “Growing as You’re Walking Past” by Donnie Martino and “The Playful Protector” by Jasre’ Ellis.

My favorite story in the collection was “Imago Mundi” by Evan Dicken, telling the story of a map over time. The story weaves together the political changes in the lands depicted by the map with the map’s own views on its existence. I also greatly enjoyed “The Pea and the Princess,” by Stephanie Vance, which was a fun flip on a fairy tale from the perspective of the pea stuffed between the mattresses of the visiting princess. And “The Malkin and Thel Tarot Catalog (Midsummer’s Ever, 2018)” by Robert Dawson is easily the most entertaining catalog I’ve ever read.

If you enjoy bite-sized stories and unique ways of telling those stories, you’ll enjoy As Told by Things!

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Battling in All Her Finery Table of Contents

Posted on June 12, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Battling in All Her FineryWe posted this to the Kickstarter at the end of May, but we decided to share it here as well!

We’ve received the last of the contracts back from our authors, so we can now announce the table of contents for Battling in All Her Finery. The stories are listed alphabetically by the authors’ last names; the final story order is still to be determined.

  • “Unbroken” by Elisa A. Bonnin
  • “Chasing the Wombship Echidna” by L. Chan
  • “Swing That Axe” by Nathan Crowder
  • “Caro Cho and the Empire of Light” by Lin Darrow
  • “There is Only the War” by A. J. Fitzwater
  • “Iron Out of Vulcan” by G. Scott Huggins
  • “Pop Magic” by Patrick Hurley
  • “Cuirassiere” by Blake Jessop
  • “The Dissolution of the Niamh” by Alisha A. Knaff
  • “Cassiopeia, Queen of Ethiopia” by Aimee Kuzenski
  • “Aquarius Ascendant” by Christine Lucas
  • “The End of the World” by Matt Moran
  • “Self Selection” by Mathew Murakami
  • “Dropping Rocks” by Jennifer R. Povey
  • “The Leximancer’s Rebellion” by Jennifer Lee Rossman
  • “Adelita” by Frances Sharp
  • “The Weeping Bolo” by D. A. Xiaolin Spires
  • “Breath and Roses” by Leora Spitzer
  • “The Dishonorable God” by Priya Sridhar
  • “Why we are standing on the broken wall, clutching swords too rusty to take an edge” by Tais Teng
  • “Paladin” by Shirley Vogel

For those who are interested in the statistics, we received 143 submissions for this anthology, considerably fewer than we received for our last anthology, Utter Fabrication. We accepted 21 of those stories for the anthology, and we are purchasing 4 additional stories (at our normal rates) for Mad Scientist Journal.

Of the 143 submissions, 78 of them (more than half) came from authors who identified as women. We also received 11 stories from authors who identified as non-binary or for whom we could not determine a gender based on their name. For the narrators, 115 of the stories had a female-identified narrator, while 10 additional stories had either a non-binary narrator or a narrator for whom gender could not be determined.

In the past, we’ve been able to say that we received X zombie stories, Y werewolf stories, etc. In this case, we received such a diverse bunch of stories that it’s hard to pinpoint categories for our narrators. We can say that the largest groups represented were military women and noble women–so the warriors and the princesses, broadly defined.

We’re currently editing the stories, and in the next few weeks, we’ll be selecting the order and receiving pieces of interior art. We’re well on track to have the book put together in the early fall!

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Cryptoid Sonics: An Investigation into the Uses of Cryptozoological Sounds

Posted on June 11, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

An essay by Doctor Silvania Frample, as provided by Andy Brown
Art by Leigh Legler

INTRODUCTION

In the world of Cryptozoology, many creatures are notable for the sounds they make. This study is to explore the potential uses of some of these creatures.

SIRENS

Sirens have been known since the classical period. Their song has the ability to entrance and enslave human listeners. This lulls them into a trance-like state, which allows the Sirens to devour their prey. Since the classical period, the siren gene has been passed down and has appeared as unusually captivating voices. Sarah Vaughn, Billie Holiday, Kate Bush, Dame Nellie Melba, and many other vocalists have been shown to possess the siren gene. Further research will no doubt reveal other examples.

Through our connections, we procured a pure-bred siren. Kept in a sound-proof seclusion tank, we could sample her voice without danger to ourselves.

It was discovered that even the recorded siren call was incredibly powerful. Jeremy Sanderson required extensive therapy–medical, chemical, and psychological–before he was able to return to normality having heard the unadulterated siren song recording.

Weaponising this sound would simply be a case of broadcasting the recorded siren song toward any enemy. The risk is that any hint of the siren song, even at the lowest volume and least intensity, would result in the listener trying to expose his fellows to the sound.

The effect is negligible when experienced by females. Which illustrates the plain and simple fact: males are very easily led.

BEAN SIDHE

The Bean Sidhe has been a feature of Celtic belief for centuries. Their wail is notable for predicting the death of the family of those who hear it.

Our connections obtained a Bean Sidhe. (Ref#155 extra cost for Tesla enclosing cage.)

Its wail was sampled and analysed. Nothing in the signal suggested that it could affect anyone but the listener. The wail was psychologically chilling, as measured by our equipment. Our test subject experienced a physical lowering in temperature and a slowing down of reactions, as if exposed to an extremely low temperature.

Our test subject lost his father the day after our test. There is absolutely no empirical evidence for this event, so we must classify it as a coincidence.

Art for "Cryptoid Sonics An Investigation into the Uses of Cryptozoological Sounds"

During the evenings of the full moon, we were able to record and analyse the howls.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 collection.

Doctor Silvania Frample is a cryptozoologist with degrees from Oxford, St Andrew’s, and The Boston College of Cryptophilia. She has been employed by the Invisible University of Maine and the Hidden College of New Boston.

She lives in London and is married with two daughters. The identities of her pets are protected by the Official Secrets Act.

Andy Brown is a musician and entertainer living near Edinburgh in Scotland. (He doesn’t currently own a kilt but does play bagpipes a little.) He is a pleasant enough fellow with a healthy interest in many things and an obsessive interest in many others. (Music, computers, astronomy, reading, writing…) He plays a wide variety of instruments to a wide variety of standards. His greatest happiness is his family and the fact that he wakes every morning still breathing. His greatest sadness is that he might die before warp travel, teleportation, and Klingons are discovered.

Leigh’s professional title is “illustrator,” but that’s just a nice word for “monster-maker,” in this case. More information about them can be found at http://leighlegler.carbonmade.com/.

“Cryptoid Sonics: An Investigation into the Uses of Cryptozoological Sounds” is © 2018 Andy Brown
Art accompanying story is © 2018 Leigh Legler

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Strange Science: A Galaxy with Little Dark Matter

Posted on June 8, 2018 by scarywhitegirl
Galaxies

Public domain (https://www.nasa.gov/image-feature/goddard/2018/hubble-sees-galaxy-with-3-supernovas)

Galaxies typically comprise a mix of ordinary matter and so-called “invisible” dark matter. Dark matter makes up most of the universe, and though it can’t be seen, its impact on ordinary matter shows scientists that it is there.

Recently, however, astronomers have identified a galaxy with almost no dark matter. The galaxy has been designated NGC1052-DF2, and it’s located 65 million light years away from Earth and the Milky Way.

Researchers examining the galaxy found that “By tracking the motion of 10 embedded star clusters, the team could determine how much mass is tucked into the galaxy. And surprisingly, it’s about the same amount of mass they’d expect to see from the galaxy’s stars alone.”

These findings have revealed two important things. One, dark matter is an optional part of galaxies, not a part that is always found. Two, the lack of dark matter in this galaxy actually helps prove its existence!

To learn more about NGC1052-DF2, check out this article!

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Review of Transmigrations by Eddie Louise

Posted on June 6, 2018 by scarywhitegirl

Cover art for TransmigrationsTransmigrations (EDGE Science Fiction and Fantasy Publishing, 2018) is the debut novel by Eddie Louise and the first in the Tales of Sage and Savant series, inspired by the Sage and Savant podcast. The novel is based on the adventures of Doctor Petronella Sage and Erasmus Savant, who travel throughout time by jumping into other bodies. Their chronicler, Justin Bremer, deals with adventures of his own in the far future, fueled by learning more about Sage, Savant, and the mysterious organization that hired him to be their chronicler.

Because the novel and the podcast are closely related, the plot of the story has a fairly episodic structure, which makes it feel, in places, like a series of short stories connected by a larger frame story. Since the stories are sequential, they do allow for the development of the characters from story to story, which leads to all sorts of mayhem when Sage and Savant wind up in bodies that are not always capable of human speech. The frame story injects elements of espionage and science fiction into this steampunk environment.

If you enjoy steampunk technologies and mad science, you’ll be likely to find something you love in Transmigrations. I will warn that it ends on a bit of a cliffhanger, and you’re going to want to translate some Morse code when you reach the end of the book!

The publisher provided us with a free copy of this novel in exchange for review consideration.

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What Goes Down Must Come Up

Posted on June 4, 2018 by Mad Scientist Journal

An essay by Professor Caldwell Mook, as provided by Nick Morrish
Art by Ariel Alian Wilson

As Mithering Professor of General Negativity, I regularly receive requests to peer review outlandish scientific papers. I generally reject most of them out of hand as either beneath contempt, or simply too dull for words. However, one paper caught my eye recently: a small-scale experiment involving an anti-gravity field and a hamster.

Readers may be familiar with the work of Dr Drax Moon. His ridiculous claims often feature in the popular media, and he is frankly a laughing-stock even amongst the para-rational scientific community.

In this particular experiment, he allegedly caused the unfortunate rodent to float 3.75 millimeters above the ground. Quite an astounding claim, though Dr Moon does go on to clarify that at least one of its whiskers was still in contact with terra firma at all times.

Of course, anti-gravity is entirely possible at the quantum level, but I considered the elevation of even a small mammal beyond the ability of the most brilliant scientist, let alone a dim-witted charlatan such as Dr Moon.

I began to pen a withering review of his paper, but then reconsidered my actions. I emailed him instead, requesting a demonstration of his remarkable findings. I hoped to witness his abject failure and looked forward to the possibility of humiliating him in person, as well as in print and in my popular blog (blogoff.compaleteanduttergarbage.com).

When I arrived at Dr Moon’s home, it became clear that he was not utilizing quantum principles. His apparatus was rudimentary in nature and appeared to have been scavenged from discarded household appliances. Indeed, he was using his kitchen as a laboratory, and I discerned several household utensils lodged within the experimental apparatus.

Before we began, I gave him the opportunity to explain his theory in detail, but he declined, which unfortunately is rather typical of the man.

“I am a practical scientist,” he said. “A good experiment is better than a thousand theories. And a bad experiment is better than a dozen firework displays.”

You can imagine my concern at this statement, and I resolved to vacate the premises and watch the experiment through the letterbox. I had forgotten to bring safety goggles, so instead I took a large glass storage jar from the kitchen and placed it over my head. This attracted some unwelcome comments from passers-by, but I have always considered personal safety more important than mere dignity.

Art for "What Goes Down Must Come Up"

I had forgotten to bring safety goggles, so instead I took a large glass storage jar from the kitchen and placed it over my head. This attracted some unwelcome comments from passers-by, but I have always considered personal safety more important than mere dignity.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 collection.

Professor Caldwell Mook holds the Mithering Chair of General Negativity at the University of Leeds, England. He specializes in pre-emptive risk analyses for technology that has yet to be invented. Professor Mook regularly offers discouragement and derision to scientists and engineers around the world.

Nick Morrish is an increasingly mad engineer from Yorkshire, England. During a long and futile career, he has worked for a number of frankly certifiable multinational companies. He clings to the last vestiges of sanity by writing serious and truthful stories about the nature of existence. Since no one else seems to observe truth in quite the same way, his work is often mistaken for satire or fantasy.

Ariel Alian Wilson is a few things: artist, writer, gamer, and role-player. Having dabbled in a few different art mediums, Ariel has been drawing since she was small, having always held a passion for it. She’s always juggling numerous projects. She currently lives in Seattle with her cat, Persephone. You can find doodles, sketches, and more at her blog www.winndycakesart.tumblr.com.

“What Goes Down Must Come Up” is © 2018 Nick Morrish
Art accompanying story is © 2018 Ariel Alian Wilson

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