Product Review: Chronochill

As provided by Joachim Heijndermans
Art by Dawn Vogel

Product Name: Chronochill Max Duozone® – Black Version
Price: $389,95 & free shipping
Customer Rating: *** with 85 customer reviews
In Stock.

Product Description:
Item Weight:  39lbs/ 17kg.
Shipping Weight:  49lbs/ 22kg.
Manufacturer: Chronochill LTD.
ASIN: B008HFSSB2.
Item Model Nr: 866339266CC.

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Product Information: Temporal Shift Refrigerator. For those wizards in the kitchen who just can’t stand it when the food in their fridge goes bad, even after storing it just two days ago. The Duozone® from Chronochill prevents food from spoiling, melting, and being affected by frostbite or any other side effect that comes with the common fridge. Most refrigerators use cold air to keep food fresh, but moisture buildup eventually takes its toll on fruit, meat, and vegetables. By freezing your food within a single moment in time and storing it in a temporal shift zone, the Duozone® preserves anything you place inside it in its original status. You too will love having your meals preserved the ultimate way, locked within less than a second and still as fresh as the moment you stored it.

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By freezing your food within a single moment in time and storing it in a temporal shift zone, the Duozone® preserves anything you place inside it in its original status.

Customer Reviews

DaisyDeez75: I bought mine last year, and I absolutely love it. Love, love, love it. My strawberries and blueberries always seemed to get moldy in my old fridge. Now I can actually store my meals for months. I had fresh summer fruit for x-mas. How wild is that? Love it. Recommend it to everyone. Five stars.

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HarryFires02: It’s not really a fridge, is it? I put a beer in mine that I’d left out on my patio, and a few weeks later it was still lukewarm. Major design flaw. Getting a real fridge next time. No stars.

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KaKay-zen: @HarryFires02 You know you can install a new temperature once you put your beer inside, right?

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HarryFires02: @KaKay-zen Found it. Thanks. Works like a dream. Five stars.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2019 collection.

Chronochill LTD, founded in 2093, has been the top brand in temporal food storage. After the success of their first Chrono-depot and the acquisition of their first chained-restaurant contract (the event that led to the end of the McWars, and the final nail in the coffin for Burger Queen/Gwendy’s Jr.), Chronochill has recently expanded with home-based temporal refrigeration units. Despite the controversy regarding this move, Chronochill LTD has sold over 60,000 units last march.

Joachim Heijndermans writes, draws, and paints nearly every waking hour. Originally from the Netherlands, he’s been all over the world, boring people by spouting random trivia. His work has been featured in a number of publications, such as Every Day Fiction, Asymmetry Fiction, Gathering Storm Magazine, Hinnom Magazine, and The Gallery of Curiosities, and he’s currently in the midst of completing his first children’s book. You can check out his other work at www.joachimheijndermans.com, or follow him on Twitter: @jheijndermans.

Dawn Vogel writes and edits both fiction and non-fiction. Her academic background is in history, so it’s not surprising that much of her fiction is set in earlier times. By day, she edits reports for historians and archaeologists. In her alleged spare time, she runs a craft business, co-edits Mad Scientist Journal, and tries to find time for writing. She is a member of Broad Universe, SFWA, and Codex Writers. Her steampunk series, Brass and Glass, is being published by Razorgirl Press. She lives in Seattle with her awesome husband (and fellow author), Jeremy Zimmerman, and their herd of cats. Visit her at historythatneverwas.com.

“Product Review: Chronochill” is © 2018 Joachim Heijndermans
Art accompanying story is © 2018 Dawn Vogel