A speech by Professor T.D. McClure, MPhD, President of the Mad Scientists of America, presented by Laura Roberts
Art by America Jones
Dr. Evil, Mr. Vice President, Members of the International Scientific Community, my enemies, my co-conspirators, my fellow Mad Scientists:
The State of Mad Science in 2016 is a precarious one, despite our many advances, and thus I come to you today to report back on our successes, our failures, and our plans for the future. Not just for the next year, but for the next five years, the next ten years, and beyond. I believe we must focus on the future, rather than reverting to missions of the past, because the Mad Scientists of America must continue to grow, embrace change, and set an example for the twisted hearts and addled minds of the next generation of Mad Scientists.
Mad Science has been through big changes before, and we have always come out swinging. Whether we were being crushed by fascist do-gooders, removed from tenured positions at prestigious universities, or simply tarred and feathered in the press by those who misunderstood our mission, we always continued to forge ahead, to do our work in secret, and to think up new ways to demonstrate our own brand of evil genius.
The time has come, not to cower from the light, but to embrace the darkness–and to fire up the Tesla Coil! (Applause.)
Together, I believe we can achieve the goals of this society, and that we can finally rise above the nonsensical restrictions of the non-mad scientific community, to burst forth like a supernova of evil genius with our death rays and mind-control devices, rallying every man, woman, child, and monster to join in our plots, our schemes, and our ultimate domination of the universe.
To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Autumn 2016 collection.
T. D. McClure holds an MPhD (Mad PhD) from Harvard, and currently serves as the President of the Mad Scientists of America. In addition to being an incredibly sought-after keynote speaker on the subjects of mad science and evil ingenuity in times of crisis, McClure has also won a Mad Nobel Prize, the National Medal of Mad Science, and a Profile in Courage Award. You may also remember McClure as the inventor of the MindRay 2.1, a mind-control device that has threatened both national and international security on a broad scale. His further exploits are detailed at Buttontapper.com.
Laura Roberts can leg-press an average-sized sumo wrestler, has nearly been drowned off the coast of Hawaii, and tells lies for a living. She is the founding editor of Black Heart Magazine, the San Diego Chapter Leader for the Nonfiction Authors Association, and publishes whatever strikes her fancy at Buttontapper Press. She currently lives in an Apocalypse-proof bunker in sunny SoCal with her artist husband and their literary kitties, and can be found online at Buttontapper.com.
AJ is an illustrator and comic artist with a passion for neon colors and queer culture. Catch them being antisocial on social media @thehauntedboy.
“The State of Mad Science, 2016” is © 2016 Laura Roberts
Art accompanying story is ©2016 America Jones
