An interview with Ivo Wyrdstrom from Evil Science Quarterly: The Leader in Mad Science News and Trends, as provided by Arinn Dembo
ESQ: Doctor Wyrdstrom, we’d like to begin by thanking you for your time. Our readers are very excited to have the chance to learn more about you and your work.
IW: Yes, that is understandable. But I must point out for the record that I am not actually a Doktor! My doctoral thesis in Nuclear Medicine was not accepted by the University of Geneva.
ESQ: Really? That’s very surprising. What reasons did the examiners give for rejecting it?
IW: They declined to give me a reason, at the time. Instead they sent Interpol to my lab to seize my notes and experiments. This was many years ago, and needless to say, I was in no position to argue the matter.
ESQ: And did this have anything to do with your recent decision to unleash Armagordon on the city of Geneva?
IW: Yes. Consider that my thesis defense, you petty, small-minded, short-sighted fools!
ESQ: Given the circumstances, may we call you “Professor” Wyrdstrom? You are, after all, teaching the world a valuable lesson.
IW: Amusing. Yes, you may.
ESQ: Thank you. Rumor has it that you use the recently discovered Purpletonium in your present research. Is this true, Professor?
IW: Absolutely. My work in nuclear medicine was long frustrated by the more mundane transuranic elements. Even Plutonium, the heaviest primordial element on Earth, proved to be insufficient to fuel the metabolism of an atomic superman.
ESQ: Is Purpletonium an exotic form of Plutonium? There are oxides of Plutonium that are lavender-blue…
IW: Not at all! To think of Purpletonium as nothing but grape-flavoured Plutonium would be a dire error. It is an entirely new transuranic element, with its own unique properties. The substance has the potential to fuel a new Atomic Age.
ESQ: An Atomic Age ruled by you and Armagordon, Professor Wyrdstrom?
IW: Ideally, yes. But as a scientist I must accept that the outcome of any experiment is never certain. My current experiment in world domination is no exception to this rule.
ESQ: You’ve destroyed thirteen cities in the past year. Speculation is rampant as to how you choose your targets, and who might be next. Can you give us here at Evil Science Quarterly just a small hint?
IW: Ha! An interesting game. Well, let’s begin with a small confession: I am not myself a petty or vindictive man. I did not crush Geneva SOLELY for revenge on my thesis committee! The city had also collected a great deal of Purpletonium. Can you guess why–?
ESQ: Well, naturally it is very near the large hadron collider at CERN…
IW: Indeed. Armagordon is nearly recovered from his exertions last month. I think there are other famous science cities that deserve a visiting lecture from the Professor. If you catch my meaning.
ESQ: Oh, the suspense is unbearable, Professor! Could it be Los Alamos? Dubna? Beijing?
IW: *laughing* Why not Seattle?
ESQ: All we have is a little Van De Graaf accelerator! We couldn’t hurt a fly, Professor Wyrdstrom!
IW: All must bow to Armagordon in the end. I am not going to have this world enter the age of Kaiju without proper supervision!
ESQ: That’s very thoughtful of you, Professor.
IW: Don’t mention it.
Arinn Dembo is a multi-genre author and the Lead Writer of Kerberos Productions, a computer game development studio in Vancouver, BC. Her prize-winning short stories and poetry have appeared in The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Weird Tales, Lamp Light Magazine, H.P. Lovecraft’s Magazine of Horror, and several anthologies. Although she is best known for the games and novels set in the Sword of the Stars universe that she created for Kerberos Productions, her guest post today is for a new game, Kaiju-a-Gogo.
To learn more about ruling the world with super-science and giant remote-controlled monsters, see the Kickstarter campaign for the game at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/kerberosproductions/kaiju-a-gogo.
