Tag Archives: Humor
Rigor in Mortis: Helpful Hints for Staging Your First Grave Deception
An essay by Dr. Iolanthe Osmandius, as provided by Antoinette McCormick Illustration by Cory Caywood The first time I died was an accident. First attempts at anything are awkward, but mine, hastily planned and frantically executed, was almost my last. Fortunately, I have learned a few tricks and some valuable lessons in my many deaths [...]
My Neighbour, Mr. Telford
An essay by Martin Telford and Geoff Stevens, as provided by Mark Carpenter Photograph by Dawn Vogel To: All Subject: The end I have discovered something terrible, and something wonderful. This discovery should have been one that would shock the scientific establishment and usher in a golden age of progress and development. But it won’t [...]
How I Learned to Love My Clones
An essay by Dr. Cortico Vox as procured by Folly Blaine Illustration by Justine McGreevy When I began my illustrious career as “mad” scientist, I considered clones a necessary evil. It pains me to admit this now, but I failed to see my clones as individuals, but rather, they were mere pawns in my Master [...]
Military Applications of Magical Beings
A report by Professor Jason Dirigible, as provided by Andy Brown Illustration by Justine McGreevy REPORT TO HEADS OF STAFF AUGUST 14th 2012 Introduction In February 2010, I was asked by the assembled heads of staff to look into the military applications of magical beings. My choices were influenced by considerations of availability, cost, and [...]
Turkey of Frankenstein
An essay by Max Frankenstein, as provided by Richard Zwicker Illustration by Katie Nyborg There’s a certain justice in not being able to escape your own past. You make your bed, you sleep in it, I always say. It seemed less equitable, however, that I was doomed to sleep with my great-uncle Heinrich Frankenstein, or [...]
Spaceship Repair Man Inc.
Essay by Yesbot, as provided by Roger Pattison Graphic work by Katie Nyborg Setting up my business hinged on one pivotal piece of equipment that didn’t exist at the time. Having gone into the marketing strategy in some depth, it had become clear that this was an opportunity in a completely undeveloped niche market. There [...]
On the Perils of Self-Mummification
An essay by Dr. Constanza Vivette as provided by Sylvia Cullinan Art provided by Justine McGreevy Never underestimate the value of a good lackey–or the scheme-destroying potential of an incompetent one. Perhaps Hairy Joe’s willingness to adopt such a misleading moniker should have been my first clue that the man was as inept as a [...]
A Call For Retroaction
An essay by Professor B.A. Darling, as provided by Rebecca L. Brown To all at ‘The Journal of Better Times,’ I am writing in response to Dr. A. Muchworthy’s paper of July 1892, which I believe was entitled ‘Looking Towards a Better Future: Potential Techniques of Forecasting and Prediction.’ I feel that I must express my growing [...]
Financial Strategies for Innovative Researchers
An essay by Kelvin Schrödinger, as provided by Kenneth Schneyer From the Bulletin of the Society for Innovative Research and Invention, vol. 195, no. 3 (Summer, 2012): Everyone knows that funding is a perennial problem. With so little hardware and so few suitable reagents available off-the-shelf, your work becomes impossible without moles of ready cash. It’s no [...]
