• Crackpot: An Advance in Mellow Weapons

    by  • April 2, 2018 • Fiction • 0 Comments

    An essay by Win Chester [1]
    Brought to our attention by E. B. Fischadler
    Art by Ariel Alian Wilson


    Recently, the U.S. Army responded to environmentalist concerns about pollution from toxic components of practice ordinance by issuing a request for biodegradable ammunition.  They are seeking non-toxic replacements for gunpowder and warhead components. More amazing is the proposal to also include seeds in the ammunition.[2] Not only would these seeds result in fields of flowers where once stood stark target ranges, but these flowers would eat the toxic chemicals, converting them to something a bit more pleasant.[3] They further state:

    This effort will make use of seeds to grow environmentally friendly plants that remove soil contaminants and consume the biodegradable components developed under this project. Animals should be able to consume the plants without any ill effects.

    This may be the best argument ever against going vegetarian.

    Art for "Crackpot An Advance in Mellow Weapons"

    Imagine how much more fun getting shot with a paintball could be if, instead of a red splotch on your uniform, the dude who just shot you leaves you surrounded by a mist of mellowness.

    Notes

    [1] Win Chester is the founder and CEO[11] of Crackshot Industries.  His role models include Cheech and Chong and, after hearing a popular tune from Easy Rider, Humphrey Bogart.[12]

    [2] http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/01/world/biodegradable-bullets-us-army/. I wish I had made this up–I’m not that twisted.

    [3] Somehow, I doubt these flowers will smell like a rose.

    [4] The patent office said “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”


    To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2018 collection.


    E. B. Fischadler has been writing short stories for several years, and has recently begun publishing. His stories have appeared in Mad Scientist Journal, Bewildering Stories, eFiction, Voluted Tales, Beyond Imagination Literary Magazine, and Beyond Science Fiction. In addition to fiction, Fischadler has published over 30 papers in refereed scientific journals, as well as a chapter of a textbook on satellite engineering. When he is not writing, he pursues a career in engineering and serves his community as an EMT. Fischadler continues to write short stories and is working on a novel about a naval surgeon. You can learn more about Fischadler and access his other publications at: https://ebfischadler.wordpress.com/


    Ariel Alian Wilson is a few things: artist, writer, gamer, and role-player. Having dabbled in a few different art mediums, Ariel has been drawing since she was small, having always held a passion for it. She’s always juggling numerous projects. She currently lives in Seattle with her cat, Persephone. You can find doodles, sketches, and more at her blog www.winndycakesart.tumblr.com.


    “Crackpot: An Advance in Mellow Weapons” is © 2018 E. B. Fischadler
    Art accompanying story is © 2018 Ariel Alian Wilson

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