• The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day

    by  • September 11, 2017 • Fiction • 0 Comments

    From the desk of Doctor Gracie McMillian
    Doctor of Psychological Operations, Germ Warfare, Cloning, and Floral Arranging: Schrodinger–Milgram Research Laboratory

    As provided by Allison Spector
    Art by Justine McGreevy


    TO:  Dr. Olivia Carter; Dr. James Peterson; Dr. Wanda Hickenlooper; Mr. & Mrs. Lilith Stein; Chief Inspector Patricia Jordan; Mr. Waggles the Sentient Canine; Experiments 313 (Ted), 345 (Sven), 932 (Annie)

    RE: The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day

     

    My Esteemed Colleagues;

    As you are well aware, the annual workplace parent-offspring bonding ritual that took place last week did not go according to expectation. I am writing to you, my intimate group of trusted colleagues and lab subjects, to provide formal guidance as to how we will handle the bothersome stream of questions now coming from several unwelcome sources, including both the mainstream media and myriad ecclesiastical inquisitors.

    Although many of you have already left town, or had your likenesses surgically altered, it has in no way deterred me from tracking down the hovels in which you now snivel and cower. You are known to me, and easily traceable through the unique signature of germs that you leave behind upon your every exhalation. Experiment 345–I know you once thought you could elude me through your most inconsiderate lack of breathing, which is why I made you chemically dependent upon the bouquet of peonies that I send you every fortnight. You must be aware of this, which is why you are the only witness to the events of last week who has kindly left me a forwarding address. Your life shall be your reward for your obedience.

    As for the rest of you trembling pustules, you shall immediately return to The Sanctuary of the Doom Prophets (the senior faculty lounge or the 2nd floor) and submit yourself to rigorous confession regarding your role in decanting 5.4 dozen unconditioned clones, dressing them as our colleagues’ children, and releasing them throughout the building in an attempt to have the child-doubles murder the originals and infiltrate the inner-sanctums of the greatest scientific minds in all of Eastern Newark.

    Art for "The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day"

    … and submit yourself to rigorous confession regarding your role in decanting 5.4 dozen unconditioned clones …


    To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2017 collection.


    Gracie McMillian was a good girl from Bethesda, Maryland, whose preternatural control of statistical probability propelled her into an alternative dimension of crypto-scientific insanity (mad science). She is now a Doctor of Psychological Operations, Germ Warfare, Cloning, and Floral Arranging and holds a directorship at the Schrodinger–Milgram Research Laboratory in Newark, NJ (dimensional iteration 2,642,428,120).


    Allison is a New Jersey ex-pat who lives for moments of beautiful whimsy. Their work has been featured in The Cost of Paper, Molotov Cocktail Magazine, & Five2One Magazine, among others. Allison is the author of Let’s Stalk Rex Jupiter! Check out their work at allisonspector.com.


    Justine McGreevy is a slowly recovering perfectionist, writer, and artist. She creates realities to make our own seem slightly less terrifying. Her work can be viewed at http://www.behance.net/Fickle_Muse and you can follow her on Twitter @Fickle_Muse.


    “The Unfortunate Incident that Took Place During Our Annual Take Your Offspring to Work Day” is © 2017 Allison Spector
    Art accompanying story is © 2017 Justine McGreevy

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