Chlorophytum Comosum Vlog

A transcript by Evangeline Zoya, as provided by Kathy Steinemann
Art by Ariel Alian Wilson


Day 1: This is Dr. Bruce S. Iktomi, commencing my video journal for Experiment 148-K. This morning I fertilized a Chlorophytum comosum with the first application of my innovative nutrient solution. If my calculations are correct, and I’m sure they are, you can expect to see unprecedented growth and robust development.

My colleagues and former sponsors are skeptical, so I am appealing to you, the public, for your moral and monetary support. Whenever possible, I will endeavor to communicate with you in layman’s terms.

The four-liter glass beaker in which the plant is growing may seem large, but I want to allow for rapid growth. Note the beaker’s placement next to a control specimen in a conventional hydroponic solution.

I’ll livestream short segments of this journal daily at 1500 hours. Login to observe the progress with me as the Chlorophytum comosum grows.

Day 2: One of my followers, Evie Zoya, contacted me this morning to request more information about my nutrient preparation. Although the formula is secret, I will reveal that I spliced a common bacterium with genes from a Phoneutria nigriventer, commonly known as the Brazilian wandering spider, and a Bambusa bambos, a rapidly-growing bamboo genus. I cultured the resulting organism in a proprietary hydroponic base. The new bacteria grow rapidly and have already started infiltration of our subject plant via its root system.

Chlorophytum Comosum Vlog

Although the formula is secret, I will reveal that I spliced a common bacterium with genes from a Phoneutria nigriventer, commonly known as the Brazilian wandering spider, and a Bambusa bambos, a rapidly-growing bamboo genus.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2016 collection.


Evangeline Zoya, PhD, is CEO of the Global Horticultural Science Consortium. Adopted at birth, she spent her teen and early-adult years searching for her parents. The Interplanetary Copyright Organization transferred Dr. Bruce S. Iktomi’s intellectual property rights to Zoya after DNA testing proved she was his daughter. Dr. Iktomi became comatose following an unfortunate accident in his laboratory. He survived for thirty-eight months, but eventually succumbed to the venom injected by hybrids created in his final experiment. See “Galactic Scientific Journal, III-345-a” for details. Zoya improved and expanded Iktomi’s techniques. She has developed several new hybrids, including dandelion-devouring quackgrass.


Kathy Steinemann has loved writing for as long as she can remember. As a child, she scribbled poems and stories. During the progression of her love affair with words, she won multiple public-speaking and writing awards. Her career has taken varying directions, including positions as editor of a small-town paper, computer-network administrator, and webmaster. She’s a self-published author who tries to write something every day. You can read more of Kathy’s work at KathySteinemann.com.


Ariel Alian Wilson is a few things: artist, writer, gamer, and role-player. Having dabbled in a few different art mediums, Ariel has been drawing since she was small, having always held a passion for it. She’s always juggling numerous projects. Currently lives in Seattle with her two cats, Zippy and Persephone. You can find doodles, sketches, and more at her blog www.winndycakesart.tumblr.com.


“Chlorophytum Comosum Vlog” is © 2016 Kathy Steinemann
Art is © 2016 Ariel Alian Wilson

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