Don’t Tell — A Tale of Boredom and Hawaiian Shirts

An essay by Donald R. Fussbarrow, as provided by Myke Edwards
Art by Luke Spooner/Carrion House

It has always amazed me how many secrets and mysteries a city can hold. Sure, that’s a massive cliché, but it’s the grim truth. A secret and a grim truth, much like the fire axe I keep under my front desk, all thanks to another cliché, in that people shouldn’t mess with things they don’t comprehend. Very rarely do I have to deal with people who meddle with things they shouldn’t, mostly just people having affairs that they shouldn’t.

After college, I had a hard time figuring out what to do with my life. An old motel up in Toledo had just closed down, so I decided to quit delivering pizza and start my own business. Risky, I know, considering the loan and that part of the city, but I figured that a “no-tell motel” could make money. I can’t think of a time in the past eight years when less than half of the rooms of my Big Surf Motel were being used.

The area has been on the downslide for several years, with property values predictably low and commercial lots renting for cheap. This might explain the nut job and his laboratory behind my motel.

Don't Tell -- A Tale of Boredom and Hawaiian Shirts

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2013 collection.

What can be said about Donald R. “Donny” Fussbarrow that hasn’t already been said? He likes his coffee, meat, and women all the same – hot, light, and easily accessible. After opening one of the more reputable motels in Toledo, OH, he has discovered that sometimes, people need more than a little help from their friends, they need to keep to themselves. Currently single (and looking).

Myke Edwards has been writing stories of the fantastic and outlandish for most of his life. Upon graduating from a reputable creative writing program, he began traveling through several dimensions where he claims to still live. He really just finds himself caught in his worlds more often than not, and makes his home in Toledo, OH, where he can frequently be found writing alongside several empty coffee mugs.

Luke Spooner a.k.a. ‘Carrion House’ currently lives and works in the South of England. Having recently graduated from the University of Portsmouth with a first class degree he is now a full time illustrator for just about any project that piques his interest. Despite regular forays into children’s books and fairy tales his true love lies in anything macabre, melancholy or dark in nature and essence. He believes that the job of putting someone else’s words into a visual form, to accompany and support their text, is a massive responsibility as well as being something he truly treasures. You can visit his web site at

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