Blood Tests, Types and Ties

An essay by Veronica Night, as provided by Kate Elizabeth
Art by Justine McGreevy

In this issue of Blood, Milton and colleagues report that the next-generation blood substitute, Huma-Nice®, when given as a dietary supplement over a two-month period, resulted in appetite suppression in vampires.

The quest for a viable human blood substitute has spanned more than a hundred years. Blood borne pathogens such as HIV, the lack of volunteer blood donors, and the recent surge in Vampirism has expedited the need for the development of a synthetic substitute. Recent blood shortages have crippled the health care system and have led to an increased incidence of blood-related crimes.

Human rights activists have been advocating the replacement of human blood-feeding practices with that of animals since the 2005 signing of the UN vampire treaty. Although human blood is similar to that of other mammals, vampires have long since shunned the idea of it as a dietary replacement, citing “incompatibility issues.”

Blood Tests, Types and Ties

Unlike previous blood substitute attempts, Huma-Nice® comprises a number of recombinant human proteins supplemented with essential vitamins and minerals.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Winter 2013 collection.

Veronica Night is one of the world’s foremost cryptozoologists. She received her doctorate from the University of Transylvania. Her current research interests include parametamorphosis and alternative therapies.

Kate Elizabeth enjoys writing short stories in her ‘free’ time. When she is not working, reading, or writing you can find her blogging over at

Justine McGreevy is a slowly recovering perfectionist, writer, and artist. She creates realities to make our own seem slightly less terrifying. Her work can be viewed at and you can follow her on Twitter @Fickle_Muse.

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