Application of the Scientific Method to Family Management: Informal Observations and Conclusions

Essay by L. Vira Calotes-Golem, PhD, as provided by Ash Krafton

Illustration by Justine McGreevy


I don’t know why such a big deal is made over women who successfully manage both a family and a career. Lots of us do it without a second thought.

Maybe it’s all about quality. After all, a great job doesn’t feel like work. It’s more like a paying hobby. Go to work and have fun doing the things you love, right? I guess I do have an advantage in that I’m lucky enough to work from home.

Then again, getting a zoning permit to build a mad scientist’s laboratory is such a bear. I mean, they don’t even have the right forms for it, let alone the right people to sign them.

What’s the big deal, anyway? I don’t understand why people are so judgmental. I pay taxes, don’t I? I don’t add to pollution or squander natural resources. And when was the last time the neighborhood dogs disappeared overnight? (Not that it could ever be traced back to me, but anyways.)

I tried doing things their way but eventually, I learned it was easier just to convert the garage (and the basement and the attic) into my workspaces. I can animate corpses and get the laundry done and still get the kids off the bus every day. It’s important to our family for me to be home for them, just as important as it is for me to be able to pursue my individuality and to single-handedly twist the laws of biochemistry to satisfy my nefarious whims.

Managing career and family–for some of us, it’s wickedly easy.

Application of the Scientific Method to Family Management: Informal Observations and Conclusions

It’s important to our family for me to be home for them, just as important as it is for me to be able to pursue my individuality and to single-handedly twist the laws of biochemistry to satisfy my nefarious whims.


To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Summer 2012 collection.


Dr. Calotes-Golem completed her doctoral studies at the University of Romania and performed her Fellowship at Frankenstein’s Institute for Undead Advancement in Budapest. She has earned the Mary Shelly Distinction for Inspirational Women Scientists in 2009 and has finaled in the International Zombie Awards for the past four years. She’s a member of AZS, TZS, and the United Golem Association Women’s Auxiliary. She resides in Northeast Pennsylvania with her family, their German Shepherd Dog, and whatever she can animate in the garage.


Ash Krafton is a speculative fiction writer whose work has appeared in Absent Willow Review, Expanded Horizons, and Silver Blade. Ms. Krafton resides in the heart of the Pennsylvania coal region, where she keeps the book jacket for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter in a frame over her desk. Visit www.ash-krafton.blogspot.com for news about her debut urban fantasy novel, Bleeding Hearts: Book One of the Demimonde (Pink Narcissus Press, 2012)


Justine McGreevy is a slowly recovering perfectionist, writer, and artist. She creates realities to make our own seem slightly less terrifying. Her work can be viewed at http://www.behance.net/Fickle_Muse and you can follow her on Twitter @Fickle_Muse.

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