Proton Pursuit

An essay by Dr. Lars, as presented by D.K. Snape

There’s a flaw in the Hadron Collider. I know it. So do you, if you search down deep. Remember how queasy you felt when they first talked about starting it up? Remember all the protests?

We finally accepted it. We had to. Otherwise, the damn thing’d never get turned on. And we needed it for science.

See, they never mentioned to anyone outside a select few that we’d been visited by aliens. And offered a place in the Galactic Worlds. If, and only if, Earthling scientists could answer basic physics questions. It’s all about being in ‘the know,’ you understand.


Proton Pursuit

See, I’m on a hunt for the loose proton. The one we let loose at just under the speed of light.

The scientists built the Collider using alien specs. We had to use our own ingenuity, our own metals, and our own manpower. They oversaw the final test run. And found it good enough.

One of our own found the design flaw. After the thing was turned on, of course. CERN shut it off for a whole year to find that flaw. We could only hope it got patched up real good.


The thing had already sprung a leak. Lost one tiny proton beam. Just one.

And it’s my job to capture the thing.

To read the rest of this story, check out the Mad Scientist Journal: Spring 2012 collection.

About Dr. Lars

Uber geek with an unwillingness to let go and a wicked sense of wit.

Finished undergrad degrees (three – in physics, math and engineering) at thirteen. Masters Theses in Quantum Theoretical Maths, Geophysics, Atmospheric Engineering, Orbital Engineering, Biologic Indigenous Molecular Matter Movement, and a few others on Core Movement Mathematics by eighteen. PhDs, all fourteen, in Rotational Space Time Continuum as Applied to Planet Earth’s Molecular Makeup, with special regards to Protons, hurtling through the Milky Way Galaxy. Oh, and Fluid Dynamics as applies to Terminal Escape Velocity of Molecular Constructs.

Because of his thorough theoretical knowledge of proton movement, Lars has been co-opted by CERN for the duration of this planetary study as a bounty hunter for the possible stray proton which could be categorized as primary in the cenote fluctuational events effecting Earth.

D.K. (Dekes to friends) has been scribbling tales since age three. Why stick with the on-so-boring truth when good fiction can make it so much better? Rich imagination resulted in many spankings for telling ‘untruths’ Dekes writes to depict world events in a way that appeals to imagination. Dekes will take any humdrum media explanation and add a spin to create a real tale. Write on Dekes!

Art courtesy of 123RF Stock Photo.

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